Sebastian: Are you sure about this?
Scuttle: Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important.
Mark Rumsfield: There go the Goddamn brownies.
Bud Brigman: The guy is on his own, he's cut off from his chain of command, he's showing signs of pressure-induced psychosis, and he has a nuclear weapon. So as a personal favour to me, could you put your tongue in neutral for a while?!
Hamilton "Ham" Johnson: So tragic when this happens to somebody so young and healthy. Was she feeling all right last night?
Fletch: She felt great to me.
John Keating: There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for.
Helen: It sounds like a boy Garry's age needs a man around the house.
Tod: Well, it depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up every morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. He'd say, "Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast." You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
Boyfriend: Stay away from her.
Jake Taylor: Suck. My. Dick.
Billy: It's great to be young and insane.
Louis Creed: My father used to have a saying, Jud. God sees the truth... But waits.
Colonel Robert G. Shaw: There's more to fighting than rest, sir. There, there's strength of heart. You should have seen us in action two days ago. We were a sight to see! We'll be ready, sir. When do you want us?
Rudd: Now we DO have a serious diplomatic situation here, which I will be taking up with your state department first thing in the morning.
Riggs: Whoa, you got me quakin' in my boots, but I'm still gonna bring you down.
Rudd: My dear officer, you could not even give me a parking ticket!
Kurt Sloane: Watch your wallet.
Eric Sloane: She doesn't want my wallet. She wants to make it with the champ.
Graham: I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they're attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love.
Vince: You've got only one life to live. You can either make it chickenshit or chicken salad.
Nick Conklin: Now, you got a counterfeiting ring goin' on and you should talk to your partner before you go to the suits. So fuck you very much.
Terry Silver: A man can't stand, he can't fight.
Rick: Jesus, Bob, you never told us anything about not mentioning dogs.
Bob: The reason nobody mentioned dogs, Rick, is that to mention the dog would have been a hex in itself.
Rick: All right, well, now we are on the subject, are there an other stupid things we aren't supposed to mention that will affect our future?
Mae Thompson: How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Let me handle this. How did this happen?