Best family TV quotes of all time

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Movie Quote Quiz
Saved by the Bell picture

Mr. Belding: Go to class, learn something.

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The Weekenders picture

Lor McQuarrie: If that counts as dancing then it counts as singing when I burp.

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Clarissa Explains It All picture

The Firm - S5-E7

Clarissa: The great thing about my dad is he likes to help. The bad thing about my dad is he loves to help.

Bowling255

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SeaQuest DSV picture

Lucas: Captain, this is a Level One UEO sealed file. Opening it would be illegal.
Capt. Nathan Bridger: Why do you think I came to you?
Lucas: Good point.

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Grim & Evil picture

Hoss Delgado: Give it to us straight, Goodburger. Is our little Remus.
Mandy: Billy.
Hoss Delgado: ...Billy, on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?

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Star Wars Forces of Destiny picture Video

Maz: The choices we make, the actions we take, moments both big and small...shape us into forces of destiny. (00:00:05)

Quantom X

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Growing Pains picture

Grandpa Ed: Are you happy now that you've driven out two of my grandkids, you quack?

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My Favorite Martian picture

Uncle Martin: We don't have love at first sight on Mars. Either it was too silly to bother with, or it was something we discarded in our Dusk Ages.
Tim O'Hara: You mean the Dark Ages?
Uncle Martin: We were never that primitive.

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The Baby-Sitters Club picture

Jackie Rodowsky: She's a girl! Girls are totally gross!
Mary Anne Spier: Gee, thanks!
Dawn Schaffer: And what are we, space mutants?
Jackie Rodowsky: You're... you're.
Kristy Thomas: Better make this good Jackie!
Jackie Rodowsky: You're... you're baby-sitters!

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The Weird Al Show picture

Martha Quinn: If someone asks you for directions, stop. Think about it for a moment, and if you don't know the best way for them to go, smile and tell them cheerfully that you can't help them and they should ask someone else. Giving someone directions that you're not sure about, even if you're just trying to help, is a bad idea. Don't be a hero. No directions are better than bad directions.

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The Adventures of Pete & Pete picture

Younger Pete Wrigley: Hey, Blowhole, wherever you are, in forty-five minutes I'm going to be famous. And you know what you're going to be? A blowhole.

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Rugrats picture

Charles Finster Sr.: When I was a kid, Christmas was always kind of disappointing. The best gift I ever got was a rubber glove and a tongue depressor.

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Life With Derek picture

Theme: It used to be my mother and my sister and me, a happy little family, and all right with me. When mom got married, that's when everything changed. Some things were lost, and others were gained. A new school, a new house, so many changes it makes my head spin. Now I've got a brother who gets under my skin. This is life with Derek. This is life with Derek. This is life with Lizzie, Edwin, George, Nora, Marti, and Casey. This is life with Derek. Livin' life with Derek.

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Doug picture

Doug: Hi, Dale.
Dale Valentine: Hello, big nose.

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The Secrets of Isis picture

Narrator: With this amulet, you and your descendants are endowed by the goddess Isis with the powers of the animals and the elements. You will soar as the falcon soars, run with the speed of gazelles and command the elements of sky and earth.

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