Best family TV quotes of all time

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Grange Hill picture

Episode #17.18 - S17-E18

Maria: Do you know what you are, Parrott?
Mr Parrott: Mr Parrott to you.
Maria: A complete prat. The kids know it, the teachers know it, and now it looks like your ex-fiancée has got the message as well.

eric 64

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Jem and the Holograms picture

Pizzazz: Why do you always think the worst of me?
Stormer: Don't answer that, Jem.

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ALF (1986)

ALF picture

ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.

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The Greatest American Hero picture

Ralph Hinkley: Bill, I've got an idea.
Bill Maxwell: Good, put it to me in a letter, I'll try to get back to you by the end of the month.

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Mork & Mindy picture

Mork's Mixed Emotions - S1-E20

Orson: You opened the door to your emotions, didn't you?
Mork: Yes, Sir.
Orson: You realise you've broken the highest Orkan law. It is my duty to report you to the Council.
Mork: I understand. But I don't regret what I've done, sir. You see, for the first time in my life, I feel really alive, I feel fantastic! Oh, I wish you could try it! I wish you could feel some of the things I've been feeling!
Orson: Impossible. I could never do that. They'd throw me in prison.
Mork: Oh, I don't mean to be disrespectful, your immenseness, but until you can marvel at a rainbow after a storm or rejoice at seeing a baby walk for the first time, or hold someone and have them feel the same warmth inside as you feel close to them outside - until you can do these things, aren't you already in prison?

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Recess picture

King Bob: So shall it be written, so shall it be done.

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The Beverly Hillbillies picture

Jed Clampett: Boy, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to clean up all this mess.
Jethro: Aw come on, Uncle Jed. I'm gonna clean up. I'm gonna set this world on fire.
Jed Clampett: You're gonna clean up all right. Everything. Or you're gonna end up with the seat of your britches on fire.

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Yu-Gi-Oh! picture

Joey Wheeler, Shadi: Go, Drumsticks.
Mai Valentine: Uh, guys? Joey named his chicken.
Joey Wheeler, Shadi: It's a Nematory, Mai.
Mai Valentine: Whatever.

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Dinosaurs picture

Baby: I'm a big boy.

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Home Improvement picture

Neighbours - S8-E20

Tim: Al, why don't you tell us your favorite part of gardening?
Al: Well, I'd have to say it's getting down and dirty with my hoe.

Phaneron

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The Wonder Years picture

Wayne Arnold: Butthead.

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H2O: Just Add Water picture

Lewis: Hey, Zane. You're dry. That must feel different.

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The Fairly OddParents picture

Wandisimo: Principles, much like my biceps, are muy bonito.

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The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy picture

Hoss Delgado: Give it to us straight, Goodburger. Is our little Remus.
Mandy: Billy.
Hoss Delgado: ...Billy, on the bullet train to Smartsville, or is he riding the slow pony to the rubber forest?

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Boy Meets World picture

What I Meant To Say - S3-E3

Mr. Williams: I'm here to teach you to find the truth in the media. Because there is a difference between what they say, and what is real.
Mr. Turner: That was very good. Watch this: Hunter, what did he just say?
Shawn: Something about Israel.

Phaneron

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I Dream of Jeannie picture

Jeannie: Master is football more important to you than I am?
Major Nelson: Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons.
Jeannie: And I'm the lemon.

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