Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
Peter: What?
Doctor: [revealing comic he was reading.] Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
Peter/Lois: Argh!
Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
Peter: Argh!
Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
Lois: Oh my goodness!
Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
Peter/Lois: Oh!
Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
Lois: What?!
Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now...
Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat.
Family Guy (1999)
1 quote from Fat Guy Strangler
Starring: Mila Kunis, Seth Green, Seth MacFarlane, Lacey Chabert, Alex Borstein
Plot hole: Stewie gets out of the car seat and goes back to bed, leaving the blanket at the bottom of the seat. When they get to New York, Lois goes to get him out and realises he's gone. But when they started the trip the blanket was covering the entire seat to make it look like Stewie was still in it. So who ever "covered" him up knew he wasn't in the seat before they set off. (00:13:45)
Trivia: A Quahog is another name for a clam, thus all the jokes and places in town (like the drunken clam bar) the show makes reference about.
Business Guy - S8-E9
Question: In the episode, Peter threatens to fire Lois, and she responds with "you wouldn't" and Peter then replies with "Oh really, does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?" which in turn makes Lois go wide eyed and reply with "OK, I'll behave" and Peter then goes on to add "Yes you will" Can anyone explain this joke if it is a joke to comprehend?
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Answer: Lacey Chabert was the actress who originally voiced Meg in early episodes. She left of her own accord due to being in school and other acting work; Seth MacFarlane has stated there was no tension with her leaving, but it makes for a handy joke for the show.
Jon Sandys ★