Robert Downey Jr. (back to the R list / D list)

Steve Rogers: Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away and what are you?

Tony Stark: A genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.

Loki: I have an army!

Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.

Tony Stark: If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it!

Tony Stark: Dr. Banner, your work is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Bruce Banner: Thanks.

Steve Rogers: Is everything a joke to you?

Tony Stark: Funny things are.

Peter Highman: If I miss the birth of my own child, I'm gonna choke you out with your own scarf. Wrap that thing 'round your head, and choke you out.

Ethan Tremblay: Sounds a bit... drastic.

Ethan Tremblay: My father always had a saying "When a day starts like this it's all uphill from here.

Peter Highman: Uphill? No, it's all downhill from here.

Ethan Tremblay: But nobody wants to be down, everybody wants to be up. It's all uphill from here.

Peter Highman: But it's easier to go downhill. So your dad had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

Ethan Tremblay: Did you call me over here to apologize?

Peter Highman: What? Fuck You!

Tony Stark: They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire. I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once. That's how dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far.

Christine Everheart: Tony Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine

Tony Stark: Hi, yeah okay, go.

Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark, you've been called the Da Vinci of our time; what do you say to that?

Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.

Christine Everheart: What do you say to your other nickname, the 'Merchant of Death'?

Tony Stark: That's not bad.

Jim Rhodes: You're not a soldier.

Tony Stark: Damn right I'm not. I'm an army.

[Pepper catches him in Iron Man suit.]

Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What's going on here?

Tony Stark: Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've ever caught me doing.

Tony Stark: No one's allowed to talk, is that it? You're not allowed to talk?

Driver: No, you intimidate them.

Tony Stark: Good God! You're a woman!

Senator Stern: Our priority here is to have you turn over the Iron Man weapon to the American people.

Tony Stark: Well, you can forget it. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property - you can't have it! But I did you a big favor. I have successfully privatized world peace.

Tony Stark: I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one.

Tony Stark: Things are different now, I have to protect the one thing that I can't live without. That's you.

Tony Stark: I'm Tony Stark. I build neat stuff, got a great girl, occasionally save the world. So why can't I sleep?

Tony Stark: Dads leave. No need to be such a pussy about it.

Tony Stark: Jarvis, do me a favor, blow the Mark 42.

Tony Stark: Stop stopping.

Sherlock Holmes: You've never complained about my methods before.

Dr. John Watson: I've never complained! When have I ever complained about you practising the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, your experiments on my dog, or the fact that you steal my clothes?

Dr. John Watson: Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?

Sherlock Holmes: No.

Irene Adler: Why are you always so suspicious?

Sherlock Holmes: Should I answer chronologically or alphabetically?

Sherlock Holmes: It's a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can't tell if a man's dead or not!

Sherlock Holmes: You have the grand gift of silence, Watson. It makes you quite invaluable as a companion.

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!

Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...retarded. Like, really retarded.

Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: An imbicile?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?

Tugg Speedman: ...when I was playing the character.

Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.

Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

Kirk Lazarus: Cover me, limp dick fuck-ups!