Tropic Thunder (2008) - 18 quotes

Kirk Lazarus: You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

Tugg Speedman: I am a rooster enigma!

Alpa Chino: Fuck it. We'll fix him later.

Kirk Lazarus: Being an actor's no different than being a rugby player or a construction worker, save for the fact that my tools are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion.

Kirk Lazarus: Here's my mothafuckin' farm! I'm a lead farmer, mothafucka!

Les Grossman: First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

Les Grossman: Cockburn, from now on my fist is going to be so far up your shithole that every time you have a thought, it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring...

Kirk Lazarus: Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.

Byong: We no get money yet. Price now 100 million. You pay now, or tomorrow Simple Jack Die!

Les Grossman: Great. Let me get this down. 100 million... Oh, wait! I got a better idea. Instead of a hundred million, how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese? Then, you kill him. Do your thing, skin the fucking bastard. Go to town, man. Go to town! In the mean time and as usual, go fuck yourself.

Kirk Lazarus: Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

Jeff Portnoy: Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick, right now.

Alpa Chino: Man, I told you for the last time, I love tha pussy!

Jeff Portnoy: I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.

Rob Slolom: Wow. 8 Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.

Les Grossman: I couldn't have done it without you.

Rob Slolom: Really?

Les Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.

Rob Slolom: I wouldn't do that.

Les Grossman: Ah... joking.

Rob Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You're a funny guy.

Les Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

Kirk Lazarus: Cover me, limp dick fuck-ups!

Alpa: Man I'm tired of this Koala hugging Nig...

Kirk: [Punches Alpa] For 400 years, that word has kept us down.

Alpa: What the...?

Kirk: It took a whole lot of trying, just to get up that hill, now... we're in the big leagues, getting our turn to bat, as long as we live, It's you and me baby, there ain't nothi.....

Alpa: Man, that's the theme song to The Jeffersons, man you really need help!

Kirk: Hey, just 'cause its a theme song don't make it not true.

Tugg Speedman: Wait, guys, are you telling me you're giving up on the movie? I thought we were supposed to be a team, a unit.

Kirk Lazarus: Suck my unit.

Tugg Speedman: There were times while I was playing Jack where I felt...retarded. Like, really retarded.

Kirk Lazarus: Moronical?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: An imbicile?

Tugg Speedman: Yeah!

Kirk Lazarus: Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived?

Tugg Speedman: ...when I was playing the character.

Kirk Lazarus: I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Cody: Mother Nature just pissed her pants, dude!

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am! I'm the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude!