Quotes from Jon Heder movies and TV shows

[Playing baseball, Gus just hit a homerun.]
Richie: He just did that steroid free!
Clark: What's steroids?
Richie: Something that makes your pee-pee smaller.
Clark: There must be steroids in macaroni!

Chazz: You know what dude, your hand has to be on top.
Jimmy: No way, the girl's goes on top.
Chazz: Yeah, ergo, chick.
Jimmy: I'm not the girl, I'm stronger!
Chazz: No, I'M stronger, and don't have a vagina.

Jimmy: I call top bunk!
Chazz: No, I already did.
Jimmy: No you didn't.
Chazz: Yes I did. In my mind.

Jimmy: I see you got fat!
Chazz: I see you still look like a 15-year-old girl but not hot.

Jimmy: Get out of my face.
Chazz: I'll get inside your face.

Jimmy: I don't share rooms.
Chazz: I don't share SHIT.

Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it?
Jimmy: Did you just say mind-bottling?
Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

Jimmy: Who's that?
Chazz: You mean Katie van Waldenberg?
Jimmy: She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?
Chazz: Fairchild's legs and Stranz's ass.

Jimmy: I'm getting sick, you smell like aftershave and taco meat!

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... Bred for its skills in magic.

Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Napoleon Dynamite: [Reading current event to class.] Last week, Japanese scientists "explaced" - placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness... To blow Nessie out of the water... Sir Curt Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance. Summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents. And all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.

Napoleon Dynamite: I like your sleeves. They're real big.
Deb: Thank you. I made them myself.

Napoleon Dynamite: You know, there's like a buttload of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join 'cause I'm pretty good with a bow staff.

Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Dr. P: Every once in a while a shepherd has to pluck a sheep from the herd and challenge him. It lets the man know he's worthy of leading.
Roger: Well you know what? I don't want to be a shepherd anymore.
Dr. P: You're not the shepherd, dumb ass. I'm the shepherd. It's called an analogy, moron.

Chicken Joe: Cody. I know he's out here. I can feel it in my nuggets.

Rob: How's it feel to win, Joe?
Chicken Joe: I won?