Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?

Napoleon Dynamite: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.

Pedro: Like what are my skills?

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.

Napoleon Dynamite: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.

Pedro: Why?

Napoleon Dynamite: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.

Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?

Napoleon Dynamite: No. Not unless she likes fish.

Deb: What are you drawing?

Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.

Deb: What's a liger?

Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Rex: I'm Rex, founder of the Rex Kwan Do self-defense system! After one week with me in my dojo, you'll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

Principal Svadean: Look, Pedro, I don't know how they do things down in Juarez, but here in Idaho we have a little something called pride. Understand? Smashing in the face of a pinata that resembles Summer Wheatley is a disgrace to you, me, and the entire Gem State.