Quotes from John DiMaggio movies and TV shows

Red Hood: This is what it's all been about. This! You, me, him! Now is the time you decide! If you won't kill this psychotic piece of filth, I will! If you want to stop me, you're going to have to kill me.
Batman: You know I won't.
Red Hood: I'm going to blow his deranged brains out! And if you want to stop it, you are going to have to shoot me, right in my face.
Joker: This is turning out even better than I'd hoped.

My Problem With Popplers (a.k.a. The Problem With Popplers) - S2-E18

Fry/Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth, When you come to Fishy Joe's, What they're made of is a mystery, Where they come from, no one knows. You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em, You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em, And if you promise not to sue us, You can shove one up your nose.

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!

Hell is Other Robots - S1-E9

Leela: Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: No! Don't come in.

I Second That Emotion - S2-E5

Leela: Aw. Poor Nibbler, chipped a fang. [Kisses Nibblers cheek.]
Bender: Hey! I got a busted ass here. I don't see anyone kissing it.
Dr. Zoidberg: Alright, I'm coming.

Spanish Fry - S5-E12

Lrr: Mmmm. This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
Bender: It's used to it. Woooooooo!

Episode Two: The Series Has Landed - S1-E2

Leela: Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
Bender: Well let's just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it.
Fry: Too much work. Let's we burn it and *say* we dumped it in the sewer.

Anthology of Interest I - S2-E20

Leela: Are you blackmailing me?
Bender: I prefer to use the word extortion. The 'x' makes it sound cool.

Space Pilot 3000 - S1-E1

Fry: Wow, a real live robot! Or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Fry: It doesn't look so shiny to me.
Bender: Shinier than yours, meatbag!

Bender Gets Made (a.k.a. Bendfellas) - S2-E17

Clamps: You trying to steal from the Don?
Bender: I'm trying. But he ain't making it easy.

Ssiscool ★

I, Roommate - S1-E3

Bender: Fry, of all the friends I've had... You're the first.

Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.
Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths.
Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?

Spanish Fry - S5-E12

Fry: Look. Normally I'm the first guy to toot his own lower horn.
Bender: I'll say. Whooooo!
Fry: But in this case, I just don't think it's going to work.
Bender: That's what she said. Whooooo!

Crimes of the Hot - S5-E1

Fry: Bender, this world just isn't good enough for you.
Bender: Not even close.

Bender: What do you mean "we", flesh-tube?

Hell is Other Robots - S1-E9

[At the Beastie Boys concert.]
Leela: Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes with an 80% success rate.
Bender: I believe that qualifies as ill. At least from a technical standpoint.

Bishop73

Lethal Inspection - S6-E6

[Bender and Hermes jump into a moving boxcar in order to avoid some Killbots, who catch up to them by forming a railroad cart.]
Bender: Ah, shoot.
Killbot #1: Someone said shoot! [The Killbots on the outside edges of the makeshift railroad cart shoot and destroy the Killbot in the middle. Bender and Hermes scale the top of the train and are approaching a tunnel.]
Bender: Well, we're boned.
Hermes: No, we're not. We just got to limbo.
Bender: But I'm not designed to bend that low. Not without limbo music. [The Killbots begin firing at Bender, and the ricocheting bullets sound like a steel drum.] That'll do it. [Bender and Hermes escape].
Killbot #2: We're gonna get fired.
Killbot #1: Someone said fire! [Shoots and destroys the other Killbot].
[Later in the episode, several Killbots have cornered Bender and Hermes, but Hermes hacks into their programming and sends them a cease fire]
Killbot #3: Cease fire. Mom called off the attack. Although I don't see how it's her.
Killbot #1: Someone said howitzer! [The Killbots shoot and destroy each other].

Phaneron ★

30% Iron Chef - S4-E11

Bender: You honor me, Chairman Koji.
Iron Cook Chairman: Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

Bishop73

Titanius Anglesmith: Prepare for a surprise attack.

Bender: Calm down, Leela. You can vent tonight on your blog.