Quotes from Jim Carrey movies and TV shows - page 2 of 7

Ace: Do not pass go! Do not collect 200 dollars!

Ace: I must tell you, I do not wish to fight you. Violence is no longer in my nature, but if you want it, you got it, sister!

Ace: Hey, what are you? H.R shove and stuff?

The Riddler: Did anyone ever tell you you have a serious impulse control problem?!

The Riddler: Riddle me this. Riddle me that. Who's afraid of the big black bat?

The Riddler: Now, the real game begins.

The Riddler: Why can't I kill you? Too many questions. Too many questions.
Batman: Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be. Now, because I choose to be.

Batman: Wait. I have a riddle for you.
The Riddler: A riddle? For me? Really? Tell me.
Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler: Oh please. You're blind as a bat!
Batman: Exactly.

Bruce: God, why do you hate me?

Grace: Oh my God!
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What do you want with me?
Jacob Marley: You will be haunted by three spirits.
Ebenezer Scrooge: I'd rather not.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I see you wear a scabbard but no sword.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Indeed! Peace on earth. Goodwill toward men.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I'm light as a feather! Merry as a schoolboy!

Lloyd: What do you mean you don't bet? Wussy! Wussy!
Harry: I never have and I never will.
Lloyd: Yeah, right. I bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.
Harry: No way.
Lloyd: I give you three to one odds.
Harry: No.
Lloyd: Five to one?
Harry: No.
Lloyd Ten to one?
Harry: You're on.
[Lloyd and Harry both shake hands and smile.]
Lloyd: I'm gonna get you.
Harry: Nuh-uh.
Lloyd: I don't know how, but I'm gonna get you.
Harry: Nuh-uh.

Lloyd: This didn't come out of our travel fund.
Harry: Oh.
Lloyd: Yeah, I was able to raise 25 extra bucks before we left.
Harry: Where did you get 25 extra bucks?
Lloyd: I sold some stuff, to Billy on 4C.
Harry: The blind kid?
Lloyd: [Laughing.] Yeah, yeah.
Harry: What did you sell him Lloyd?
Lloyd: You know, stuff.
Harry: What kinda stuff?
Lloyd: Few baseball cards, a sack of marbles, [coughs.] Petey.
Harry: Petey? You sold my dead bird to a blind kid? Lloyd, wh- he- wha- Petey didn't even have a head!
Lloyd: Harry, I took care of it.

Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man.

Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.

Lloyd: So what happened, Harry? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry: No, it was a girl.
Lloyd: Oh!

Harry: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at 10 in the morning?
Lloyd: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic!

Lloyd Christmas: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?
Mary Swanson: Well Lloyd, that's difficult to say. We really don't.
Lloyd Christmas: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. Just...the least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary Swanson: Not good.
Lloyd Christmas: You mean not good like, one out of a hundred?
Mary Christmas: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd Christmas: So you're telling me there's a chance! YEAH!