Quotes from Bruce Dern movies and TV shows

Captain Michael J. Lander: I wanted to give this whole son-of-a-bitchin' country something to remember me by.

Ricky Butler: Hey, Mrs. Rumsfield, no tan lines. Looks nice.
Mark Rumsfield: That kid next door's a meatball.

Mark Rumsfield: There go the Goddamn brownies.

Ray Peterson: Infra-red night vision scopes? What are we going to do next, tap their phones line?
Mark Rumsfield: That can be arranged.

Mark Rumsfield: Rumsfield's the name. Don't think I caught yours, sonny?
Hans Klopek: H-H-Hans.
Mark Rumsfield: Hans! Oh-ho! A fine Christian name. Hans Christian Andersen! What are you, Catholic?

Mark Rumsfield: I know you're in there, old man! Listen up, mister! That piece of scum barking rat of yours has just taken his last dump on my lawn! I find one more - just one - I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut.

Mark Rumsfield: Art.
Bonnie Rumsfield: Your wife is home.
Mark Rumsfield: And your house is on fire.
Art: My wife is home?

Mark Rumsfield: Klopek... what is that, Slavic?
Reuben: No.
Mark Rumsfield: 'Bout a nine on the tension scale, Reub.

Mark Rumsfield: That really burns my ass.
Bonnie Rumsfield: What?
Mark Rumsfield: That old fart. He's got the best lawn on the block. And you know why? Because he trains his dog to crap in my yard.

Joseph Kennedy: You'll never be great.

The Detective: A friend of yours told me where to find you in the middle of the day.
The Driver: I don't have any friends.
The Detective: That's right. No friends. No steady job. No girlfriend. You live real cheap, you never ask any questions... boy, you got it down real tight. So tight that there's no room for anything else. And that's a real sad song. Only trouble is, eh, sad songs ain't sellin' this year. Maybe I'm your friend.

The Detective: I really like chasing you.
The Driver: Sounds like you got a problem.

The Detective: I respect a man that's good at what he does. I'll tell you something, I'm very good at what I do.

The Detective: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna catch me the cowboy that's never been caught. Cowboy desperado.

Sheriff Ed Galt: You know something amigo? I think I just spotted a chink in your armor. When you go down... it's going be over a skirt.

Mike McCormick: Can you fish out of this boat.
Harry Volpi: Caught more fish than John the Baptist?
Mike McCormick: Who's John the Baptist?
Harry Volpi: Something tells me this kid spends a little too much time at the boat garage.

Woody Grant: I won a million dollars.
ER Doctor: Congratulations, that'll just about pay for a day in the hospital.

David Grant: Well, why did you have kids, then?
Woody Grant: I like to screw, and your mother's a Catholic, so you figure it out.

Woody Grant: I haven't been drinking.
Kate Grant: That's what you said on our first date.

Woody Grant: This was my parents' room. I got whipped if they found me in here. I guess nobody's gonna whip me now.