Quotes from Bob Newhart movies and TV shows

Judson: The location of King Solomon's mines must never be found.

Judson: For centuries, men sought Solomon's treasure.
Flynn Carsen: It's just a legend... Isn't it?

Judson: Now, lemme show you something. How would you like to see an authentic Sioux Indian arrowhead?
Flynn Carsen: Really? You actually found one?
Judson: Yeah.
Flynn Carsen: Oh, yeah! Where did you find it?
Judson: EBay.

Judson: Flynn, I won't disagree that there is a battle between good and evil, and... and right now it... it seems like evil is winning. But soon, you and the library are... are going to play a... an even more important role in that struggle. And as... as far as my being, you know, 2,000 years old, that's... well, that's just in... insulting.

Dick Loudon: Ick.
Joanna Loudon: And what would you say if you weren't a college graduate?

George Utley: Dick, I cleared out that obstruction in the chimney.
Dick Loudon: Thanks George. What was it?
George Utley: I don't know but when I woke it up, it ran away.

Bernard: Miss Bianca, from now on, can't we just take the train?

Miss Bianca: Oh, Bernard. You are magnificent. You are absolutely hero of the day.
Bernard: Miss Bianca, before anything else happens... will you marry me?
Miss Bianca: Oh, Bernard! Of course I will.
Jake: Well done, mate.

Miss Bianca: Captain, you fly beautifully. It's just like being on a "roller scoater."
Bernard: He just went through a red light.
Miss Bianca: I do that all the time, darling. Now come on, stop worrying.

Miss Bianca: Oh, look! The little girl's treasures.
Bernard: Boy, the things kids collect.