Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.

Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife.

Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?

Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat.

Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool but you've got to take a bullet.

Joe Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife I'll take two.

Joe Hallenbeck: The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets.

Jimmy Dix: Maybe I could take your daughter horseback riding. How old is she?

Joe Hallenbeck: She's 13, and if you even look at her funny I'm gonna shove an umbrella up your ass and open it.

Mike Matthews: How long have we been friends?

Joe Hallenbeck: I'd say roughly until you started banging my wife.