Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) - 15 quotes

Ferris: Don't worry about it, I don't even have a piece of shit. I have to envy yours.

Cameron: Oh, thanks.

Ferris: Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.

Cameron: We're pinched, for sure.

Ferris: Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.

Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to.

Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.

Boy in Police Station: Oh, you know him?

Ferris: Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion.

Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.

Ferris: The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh... you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.

Boy in Police Station: Drugs?

Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight.

Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?

Jeannie: Why are you here?

Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

Ed Rooney: Between grief and nothing... I'll take grief.

Sloane: Great.

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ferris: If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.

Cameron: You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

Jeannie: In a nutshell: I hate my brother.

Boy in Police Station: That's cool. Did you blow him away or somethin'?

Cameron: What'd I do?

Ferris: You killed the car.

Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do.

Sloane: College.

Cameron: Yeah, but to do what?

Sloane: What are you interested in?

Cameron: Nothing.

Sloane: Me neither!

Cameron: I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it.