David Bloomberg: I'm 23.
Rafi Gardet: No, you're not. I don't believe you. Let me see the license... Oh, my God! You're a child. Taxi! I have T-shirts older than you.
Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.
Jack Twist: God, I wish I knew how to quit you!
Ennis Del Mar: Well, why don't you?
Maitre D': Whats wrong with him?
Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax.
David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Numathurman.
Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind.
David Abbott: Never mind.
Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.
John Rolfe: She weaves all things together.
Hector: What you doin' around here? Looking all homegirl and shit?
Allison: I always dress like this.
Hector: Oh, yeah? Wow! Here I am, trying to look like I got the money, and you're trying to look like ME! Fuckin' white people.
Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Nola Rice: Men think I may be something special.
Chris Wilton: Are you?
Nola Rice: No one's ever asked for their money back.
Adam: I may be damaged goods, but I'm goods none the less.
Ray Porter: Mirabelle Buttersfield moved from Vermont hoping to begin her life. And now she is stranded in the vast openness of LA. She keeps working to make connections, but the pile of near misses is starting to overwhelm her. What Mirabelle needs is an omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her and to inform everyone that this one has value, this one standing behind the counter in the glove department and to find her counterpart and bring him to her.
Isabelle Sorenson: You can kiss my self esteem butt, Donald Duck. Why tell your life story, and tell only the good parts?
Donald Morton: It's Donald Morton.
Isabelle Sorenson: You're missing my point.
Donald Morton: No I'm not! I just - never know what to say.
Tea Cake: Oh, Janie, you're the kind o' woman that'll make a man forget to grow old.
Graham Martin: Oliver, this is your life. You can't wait for it to just to get you up on your feet.
Vinnie: I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school, you know, where they teach English as a second language. You know, because these girls would be from foreign lands and, you know, maybe still a little disoriented from the journey and I would look attractive because... I speak English very goodly. But in the end it did not work out as I had hoped, I mean, basically I was told to take a hike in fourteen languages.
Jack Wyatt: Umm... This is terrible.
Uncle Arthur: I know! I just... love to blend.
Carl Denham: There are thousands of actresses out of work in this city. Somewhere out there is a woman born to play this role... A woman who will journey into the heart of the unknown... Toward a fateful meeting that changes everything.
Drew Baylor: No true fiasco ever began as a quest for mere adequacy. A motto of the British Special Air Force is: 'Those who risk, win.' A single green vine shoot is able to grow through cement. The Pacific Northwestern salmon beats itself bloody on it's quest to travel hundreds of miles upstream against the current, with a single purpose, sex of course, but also... life.