Bobby Long: It's all right, I can walk to the curb from here. Get me a beer.
Julia Lambert: Michael and I live separate lives. That's why we're so happy... more or less.
Ben Calder: If I kiss you, do you think they'll shoot me?
Anna Foster: No, but I will if you don't.
CJ: What are you, a fucking doctor?
Ana: No, I'm a fucking nurse.
Francesca: You look like a slut. I like it.
Fat Albert: You can't let fear keep you from caring about someone, because, caring about someone... is wonderful! A person you think about, and they think about you, and you both know you're thinking of each other... and it's just fantastic to know that there is somebody out there in the world thinking about you.
Flynn Carsen: She may have been in cahoots with Wilde all along! Cahoots... I've been cahooted.
Mrs. Peatree: Are you kidding me? We conduct a nationwide manhunt for you and you're boning the suspect? Did you think this was a joke?"Let's divert federal resources and man hours so I can have my collegiate lesbian fling in style."
Amy: I was doing research.
Mrs. Peatree: I'll bet.
George: So, let's see the penis! Bring on the penis.
Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was ten.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on.
Soz: I told him not to mention the elephant.
John Clasky: They should name a gender after you.
John Clasky: Looking at you doesn't do it, staring is the only way that makes sense.
John Clasky: And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything.
John Clasky: And all of that and you're you.
John Clasky: It's just that you are drop dead crazy gorgeous.
John Clasky: So much so, that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.
Nick Vanderpark: Spray some on my butt cause I just shit my pants.
Alan: You wanna take a shot too? Everybody else has.
Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.
Hiram Gummer: I feel I've not been privy to critical, most needful information.
Ralph Walker: Father Hibbert.
Father George Hibbert: What is it Mr. Walker?
Ralph Walker: Producing a miracle is possible?
Father George Hibbert: Like flying to the moon is possible, but it's never going to happen.