Molly Jensen: Carl, are you all right?
Carl Bruner: It's just my stomach! Do you have anything like Pepto Bismol or something like that?
Sam Wheat: Cyanide.
Sylvia: Edward is a wonderful person, but something keeps me from saying yes.
Vera Bennington: Would that something happen to be a tall architecht?
Casey Jones: This is great. First it was The Farm That Time Forgot and now this. Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos? Probably hard to get good maid service in a sewer. Maybe you guys should try Roto Rooter, huh?
Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon.
Verna: Leo's got the right idea. I like him, he's honest and he's got a heart.
Tom Reagan: Then it's true what they say. Opposites attract.
Gen. Esperanza: Freedom.
[John McClane appears and punches him in the face.]
John McClane: Not yet.
Nina: My Feet will want to march to where you are sleeping, but I shall go on living.
Ernest P. Worrell: Did you hear the one about the three legged dog that walked into a bar and said, "I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw."
Barbara Sabich: You're still in love with her.
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Barbara Sabich: Then what was it?
Rusty Sabich: It was never love.
Dick Tracy: Is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or the enemy of my friend my enemy?
Pat Patton: What?
Dick Tracy: Or enemy of my enemy my enemy?
Pat Patton: What'd he say?
Dick Tracy: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy.
Sam Catchem: He said the enemy of his enemy is his enemy.
Pat Patton: Oh.
Martian Soldier: Sir, the Arcturans have destroyed the remainder of the fleet. I sent a distress signal to all ships across the galaxy, but we're headed straight into their sun, and our engines are about to explode.
Enforcer Drone: I have not yet begun to fight.
Martian Soldier: Now would be a great time to start.
Carl Stark: Help me.
Burt Simpson: You got to be kidding.