Marjorie: No talking to the animal.
Brun: You want to be a leader, Broud, but a man who hits his people can never lead the Clan.
Bobby Shy: When a man pulls shit on me he is either very brave or very stoned. Which one are you?
General George S. Patton Jr.: There's never been a better chance of producing a war in Europe than we have right now... WIth the German troops I'm holding and my own men, I can push the Russians all the way back to Moscow.
Carol: We'll take my car. It starts every time.
Taylor: Children have fought wars, have built nations. They are strong and have courage, don't treat them any less than that because they're young.
Alex Sternbergen: I gotta call Jackie, maybe he call help. He's smart, he knows the people that are in charge.
Turner Kendall: In charge of what?
Alex Sternbergen: Everything. The world.
Turner Kendall: He's a hair dresser.
Alex Sternbergen: That's what he does, that's not what he is.
Martin McNamara: Confucius say: when fighting truckers, nail the suckers.
Jack Casey: Sometimes things don't happen the way you planned, sometimes you could end up lower than you started.
Carmen: You really think Vincent's that good?
Eddie Felson: Well, he's got the eye, he's got the stroke, he's got the flake... he's got the flake down cold. But can he flake on and flake off? I don't know. That's not clear.
James Leeds: Do you think there's someplace where we can meet that's not in silence and not in sound?
Reverend Aaron Gilstom: Demonic beasts. Whatever happened to the good old simple love song?"I love you." That's what good words use. Nowadays they have to write some sickness. It's just absoultely sick and bizarre, and I'm going to do my upmost best to try and stop it now."
Talk show host: Anything you'd like to add in conclusion?
Reverend Aaron Gilstom: These evil people have just got to be stopped.
Carlos Delgado: To tell you the gods honest truth, I used to use a table. But it broke. From a fat person. Weighed 300lbs at least. Table just collapsed. Killed my cat. Poor bastard.
Walter: I'm not trying to tell you your business but you haven't even looked at my pipes.
Brad Shirk: I looked at them three years ago. You figure they've improved with age?
Cesar Soubeyran: A farmer may grow a hump, but a hunchback rarely becomes a farmer.
High Priest: Who gave you the courage to be killed here?
Asian Hawk: I obey my god's every command. He looks after all my needs. I always say yes to him. Never no.
High Priest: Who is your god? What is your religion?
Asian Hawk: I believe in a powerful religion. The name of my god is... money.
High Priest: Prepare to be sacrified to your money god.
Tom: Hey, she's dead? Hey, what the hell are you doing, you didn't say anything about a dead body, we were supposed to save her life.
Egg Stork: Ack Ack, let me tell you a little story. A story about a little fat kid who everybody made fun of, and nobody liked and he had a twin brother, and everybody said he never looked like his twin brother, but he wanted to.
Ack Ack Raymond: Egg, where you that little boy?
Egg Stork: No! No! But I used to beat the shit out him!"Why are you so fat? Why are so ugly?" Aaagghh.
Ack Ack Raymond: Great story, thanks.