Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17
Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. And rule number two is that doctors can't change rule number one.
Ben Cartwright: You and your education.
Adam Cartwright: Education is progress! Now what have you got against it?
Ben Cartwright: I don't have anything against education - as long as it doesn't interfere with your thinking.
Corporal Randolph Agarn: How do you get to Fort Courage? That's easy. You take a right at the rock that looks like a bear, then a left at the bear that looks like a rock.
Megatron: Is there anyone brave - or stupid enough - to oppose us? This city is under martial law... and I am the marshal.
Sgt. Brad 'Iceman' Colbert: Thank you. Vote Republican.
Major Greg 'Pappy' Boyington: The only way we're gonna win this war is if Tokyo is more fouled up than Washington.
Alice Whipple: Harry, how long are we going to be here?
Harry Whipple: As long as it takes.
Alice Whipple: Well, I've got to get to the beauty parlor.
Harry Whipple: You're telling me.
Capt. Binghamton: Commander, how would you and your men like two weeks with nothing to do but play gin rummy, go surfing, have luaus with steel drum bands, dancing girls, hmm?
Lieut. Comdr. Quinton McHale: Two whole weeks? Woo hooo, oh that'd be a wonderful change sir. Yes sir.
Capt. Binghamton: Knock it off McHale. That's what you do every week.
Guarnere: Jesus Christ, we gotta do all this with a C.O. who has his head so far up his fuckin' ass, that lump in his throat is his goddamn nose.
Frazer: Sorry about the candles. The blinds are a bit thin for the gleam of the gas light.
Godfrey: Oh, I like candles. They're more romantic.
Titus Pullo: It's as hot as Vulcan's dick.
Abraham Lincoln: It's well known that the more a man speaks, the less he's understood.
Linda Page: You think we can catch them?
Bruce Wayne: Sure, I just hope we catch them before a speed cop catches us.
Gen. Von Klinkerhoffen: Heil Hitler.
Officer Crabtree: Hole Hotler.
Aurelia: If you marry Cinna's daughter you will be identified with the popular party whether you wish or not.
Caesar: I wish it.
Aurelia: They are not our people.
Cousin: You wish to join with farmers and hagglers and beggars?
Caesar: Our family itself did not exactly drop straight out of Jupiter's ass.
Vanessa Dunphy: You're an asshole Mr. Howard. Five minutes from now I won't be yelling but you'll still be an asshole.
Capt. Ronald Merrick: Are you one of those people who think that if you teach an Indian the rules of cricket he'll become an English gentleman?
Guy Perron: Hardly sir. I know quite a few English gentlemen who play cricket brilliantly but are absolute shits.
Duke of Buckingham: I am a direct descendant of Edward II. This is MY crown.