Angelique: Let me give you one word of advice, Dr. Hoffman. The pursuit of Barnabas Collins can lead to nothing but misery. He is a cold, harsh, unresponsive man."
Dr. Julia Hoffman: Who made him that way?
Klaus Mikaelson: You rant and rave about the monster I have become, but you, mother, you are the author of everything I am.
David Banner: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Rick Grimes: This is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.
Kelly Grayson: This is going to sound like I'm talking out my ass.
Isaac: Then please try to enunciate.
TV Kiddie Show Host: Sure, I remember that kid, he had on the most realistic looking pig costume I've ever seen. He won first prize.
Oliver Douglas: No, you don't understand, Arnold is a real PIG.
TV Kiddie Show Host: I'll say he is! We had five gallons of ice cream for those kids, and he ate every bit of it himself.
Bea Smith: I'm going Freak-hunting.
Stanley Roper: I want my rent.
Helen Roper: Stanley, where are your manners? You're supposed to say hello when you walk into a room.
Stanley Roper: Hello, I want my rent.
Niles: You know, the next time you give your clothes away, why don't you just stay in them?
Lamont Sanford: You know what they say, the truth will set you free.
Fred Sanford: Your uncle Edgar told the truth, and the judge gave him six months.
House of the Rising Sun - S1-E6
[While fleeing from an angry swarm, Kate takes her shirt off as insects are trapped in it. Charlie later finds her and hands her the shirt she dropped with a questioning look.]
Kate: It was full of bees.
Charlie: [Looking at her chest.] I'd say more like C's.
Mary Carroll: Look at Anthony's hair. He looks like a little choir boy.
Jim Royle: He looks like a little gay boy.
Napoleon Solo: My name is Napoleon Solo. I'm an enforcement agent in Section Two here. That's operations and enforcement.
Illya Kuryakin: I am Illya Kuryakin. I am also an enforcement agent. Like my friend Napoleon, I go and I do whatever I am told to by our chief.
Alexander Waverly: Hmm? Oh, yes. Alexander Waverly. Number One in Section One. In charge of this, our New York headquarters. It's from here that I send these young men on their various missions.
Interviewer: Well, can you... destroy the Earth?
Tick: Egad. I hope not. That's where I keep all my stuff.
Steve: Laura, this is a... A really special moment and... Well, I think we should celebrate it by... Getting married.
Laura: No.
Steve: Engaged?
Laura: No.
Steve: Going steady?
Laura: No.
Steve: A date?
Laura: No.
Steve: A kiss?
Laura: No.
Steve: A handshake?
Laura: No.
Steve: I'll see ya tomorrow?
Laura: Yeah.
Steve Urkel: I'll take it.
Mr. Bennet: For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?
The Doctor: You can't rule the world in hiding. You've got to come out on the balcony sometimes and wave a tentacle, if you pardon the expression.