Harry Hart: Manners maketh man. Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson.
David Rice: Who are these people?
Griffin: Paladins. Paladins kill jumpers. I kill paladins. Class dismissed.
Gru's Mom: Shortly after you and your brother were born, your father and I divorced, and we each took one son. Obviously, I got second pick.
Butch: Man, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
Aunt May: What happened to your face? It's filthy
Peter Parker: It is?
Aunt May: Yeah!
Peter: Oh yeah, I was cleaning, the chimney.
Aunt May: We have no chimney.
Peter Parker: Whaaat?
Mexican girl: Which one do you like?
Carmen: I like the one that's not so smart.
Mexican girl: Which one is that?
Toll Road: They say you killed more people than the plague. Why were you in prison?
Doc: Tax evasion.
Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and...[looks at his pocket watch]...seven minutes ago... We, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill...and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... Party on, dudes!
Man With No Name: The way I figure, there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.
Hospitaler: I put no stock in religion. By the word "religion" I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the 'Will of God.' Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is here [points to head], and here [points to heart], and by what you decide to do every day, you will be a good man. Or not.
Natalie Certain: Storm's chances of winning are 95.2%.
Kenny Wells: God, we work hard in this business. Sometimes for nothing. I wake up every morning. I tell myself, "I don't have to do this. I get to do this." And then it's just blue skies. Blue skies, baby.
Puss in Boots: Fear me, if you dare!
Carla: Since when did every woman in America need completely hairless vaginas on Christmas?
Kar: So, I figured it out, why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan so be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.
Melody: I didn't get your name.
Lightfoot: Well, I didn't give it to ya'. My name is Lightfoot.
Melody: "Lightfoot"?
Lightfoot: That's right.
Melody: That's a dumb name. I mean, what kind of person would name a kid that, ya' know?
Lightfoot: What's your name?
Melody: Melody.
Lightfoot: "Melody"? That's not a dumb name?.. Hey, maybe we had the same father?
Vice President Becker: I don't accept that abandoning half of the country is necessary!
Tom Gomez: Maybe if you'd listened to him sooner, it wouldn't be.
Vice President Becker: Bullshit! It's easy for him to suggest this plan. He's safely here in Washington.
Tom Gomez: His son is in Manhattan. I just thought you should know that before you start questioning his motives.
Harry Potter: You'll stay with me?
Lily Potter: Always.
Sirius Black: Until the end.
Newt Scamander: Dumbledore, why can't you go?
Albus Dumbledore: I can't move against Grindelwald. It has to be you.