Bill: How's it going, royal ugly dudes? I am the Earl of Preston.

Ted: And I am the Duke of Ted.

King Henry: Put them in the iron maiden.

Bill and Ted: Iron Maiden? Excellent!

Teacher: Ted, who was Joan of Arc?

Ted: Noah's wife?

Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant, the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.

Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.

Bill: Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.

Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don't really even know how to play?

Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen.

Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.

Bill/Ted: Excellent.