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Bill: How's it going, royal ugly dudes? I am the Earl of Preston.
Ted: And I am the Duke of Ted.
King Henry: Put them in the iron maiden.
Bill and Ted: Iron Maiden? Excellent!
Teacher: Ted, who was Joan of Arc?
Ted: Noah's wife?
Bill: Ted, while I agree that, in time, our band will be most triumphant, the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar.
Ted: Yes, Bill. But, I do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen until we have a triumphant video.
Bill: Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video before we even have decent instruments.
Ted: Well, how can we have decent instruments when we don't really even know how to play?
Bill: That is why we NEED Eddie Van Halen.
Ted: And THAT is why we need a triumphant video.