Brian: Why don't you find yourself some nice fuzzy lezzy with a therapist license and work it out.
Debbie: Well, as far as I'm concerned, it ain't over until the... slightly-overweight-but-still-working-on-it lady sings.
Michael: He wants me to be honest, to tell him what I really think.
Brian Kinney: And what do you really think?
Michael: It was kinda boring.
Brian Kinney: Kinda like him? He's your partner, Mikey. You gotta sit him down, take his hand and tell him "Honey, it's a steaming pile of horseshit."
Michael: Could you say that to Justin?
Brian Kinney: Yeah. Fortunately... he's a genius.
Michael: You are so helpful.
Michael: Rather than missing what used to be, I look forward to what's yet to be.
Debbie: There is an alternative to going out in a blaze of glory, and that's giving 'em all the big 'Fuck you.'.
Brian: Don't get yourself all worked up.
Michael: I'm half Italian and half drag queen. I'm allowed to get worked up.
Michael: If God wanted me on ice, he would have made me a vodka martini.
Debbie: If I have to watch Martha Stewart make one more goddamn thing out of goat cheese, I'm going to kill myself.
Vic: AMC has a Joan Crawford festival all week.
Debbie: Nobody's that gay.
Emmett: I feel like the town slut on prom night. Again.
Justin: This was the best night of my life.
Brian: Even if it was ridiculously romantic.
Michael: You have anything to say?
Brian Kinney: No.
Michael: Well I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him in his gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo - but you can not fuck him in my mother's house! In my room.
Michael: I'm sure he would go if I wanted him to.
Brian: Uh-huh.
Michael: It's true.
Brian: All right, then make sure he's there.
Michael: All right, I will.
Brian: Okay.
Michael: Okay.
Brian: Great.
Michael: Fine.
Michael: Why can't we ever see Zephyr in a fuckfest with some great looking guy?
Justin: Because nobody buys our comics to see Zephyr get laid.
Michael: That is so not true! Just because you don't wanna see it.
Justin: It's not that I don't want to see it - it's that I can't imagine it.
Brian Kinney: You stupid little twat, never let anyone fuck you without a condom.
Justin: You're not just anyone.
Brian Kinney: Yeah, I'm sure that's what Ben thought about the guy who infected him. Put it on me... I want you safe. I want you around for a long time.
Michael: I don't wanna be a saint. I wanna be a ruthless, heartless shit who fucks whoever he wants without conscience or remorse.
Brian: I'm sorry, that position's already been filled.
Brian Kinney: If you don't earn respect when you're alive, you don't deserve it when you're dead.
Mysterious Marilyn: God writes the script, sweetie. I just say the lines.
Ben: Your friend Stockwell chased all the hustlers off Liberty Avenue - now they're right under our bedroom window.
Brian Kinney: Say what you will about city living, you can't beat it for the convenience.
Brian: Basic rule of advertising and eternal damnation: Once you sell your soul to the devil, he holds the copyright.
Emmett: I haven't seen so many dogs since 101 Dalmatians.
