Seinfeld (1990)

Cosmo Kramer: If you don't wanna be a part of society, just get in your car and move to the East Side.

Cosmo Kramer: Boy, these pretzels are makin' me thirsty.

George Costanza: Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it.

Kramer: It's a write off for them.
Jerry: Write it off what?
Kramer: They just write it off.
Jerry: You don't even know what a write off is, do you?
Kramer: Do you?
Jerry: No, I don't.
Kramer. Well they do, and they're the ones writing it off.
Jerry: I wish I had the last 20 seconds of my life back.

Elaine: Recently I've been thinking about this friend of mine.
Carl: What friend?
Elaine: Oh, just this woman. She got impregnated by her troglodytic half-brother and decided to have an abortion.
Carl: You know, someday we're gonna get enough people in the Supreme Court to change that law.

Bishop73

Jerry: You can't keep avoiding her.
George Costanza: Why not? If she can't find me, she can't break up with me.

Jerry: I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

George Costanza: It became very clear to me sitting out there today that every decision I've made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat - it's all been wrong.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.