Friends (1994) - 22 quotes
starring Courteney Cox, David Schwimmer, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry (add more)
The One With The Nap Partners (series 7)
Rachel: Hi! I just want to apologize. I'm really sorry I was a baby.
Phoebe: That's ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once.
The One Where Old Yeller Dies (series 2)
Monica: All right, I've got a leg, 3 breasts and a wing.
Chandler: How do you find clothes that fit?
The Last One (1) (series 10)
Phoebe: And then we can teach them to sing and we'll be like the Von Trapp family. Although without the Nazis - no, that sounds kinda dull.
The One with the Monkey (series 1)
Ross: His name's Marcel. My friend Bethel rescued him from a lab.
Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent want to name their child Bethel?
The One With the Holiday Armadillo (series 7)
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part Jewish!
Ross: [Dressed as the "Holiday Armadillo"] You are? Me too!
Monica: Because... armadillos also wandered in the desert?
Ross: You wanna wander in the hall?
The One Where Rosita Dies (series 7)
Joey: What are you doing?
Rachel: Well, I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
Joey: Why would you wanna do that?
Rachel: So that there would be a decent place for me to sit.
Joey: Rach, there is a decent pla...
Rachel: And your lap does not count.
The One With The Tea Leaves (series 8)
Mona: Ross! What are you doing?
Ross: Not touching myself, if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
The One Where Heckles Dies (series 2)
Rachel: Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone!
Rachel: Okay, you win.
The One With The Jam (series 3)
Chandler: You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance!
Across whole show
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.
[Everyone stares at him.]
Chandler: Did I just say that out loud?
The One With The Video Tape (series 8)
Ross: Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something I'm really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: Sure. How about uh, you showering with your mom?
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind!
The One with All the Poker (series 1)
Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no. I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.
Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
The One with George Stephanopoulos (series 1)
Monica: Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if little Joey's dead then I've got no reason to live.
Ross: Joey, OM-nipotent.
Joey: You are? Oh Ross, I'm sorry.
The One With Ross's Teeth (series 6)
Monica: What happened to your teeth?
Ross: I whitened them.
Chandler: Really?
Ross: Yeah, what... what do you think?
Monica: Well, uh, I think I shouldn't look directly at them.
Ross: Come on, seriously.
Monica: Ross, they're really, really, really white!
Chandler: Yeah, what was wrong with your old... human teeth?
Ross: Well, I did leave the gel on a little longer than it said to.
Monica: How much longer?
Ross: Uh, uh.... a day.
Monica: Ross, you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Ross: I know! That's why I did it! Come on, are they really that bad?
Chandler: No. No, no, no, you'll be fine. Hilary's blind, right?
Monica: She will be after tonight.
The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie (series 4)
Rachel: No accountants. Oh, and no one from, like, "legal." I don't like guys with boring jobs.
Chandler: Oh, and Ross was like what, a lion tamer?
The One With Chandler In A Box (series 4)
Monica: Fine, judge all you want to, but [to Ross] married a lesbian, [to Rachel] left a man at the altar, [to Phoebe] fell in love with a gay ice dancer, [to Joey] threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, [to Chandler] LIVE IN A BOX!
The One After the Superbowl, part 2 (series 2)
Chandler: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: You know, like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well how do you tell when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you just, you know, you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay, then eat me, I'm done.
The One With The Prom Video (series 2)
[After Chandler's just mocked Monica for being fat in an old home movie.]
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds!
Chandler: So how many cameras are actually on you?
The One with All the Poker (series 1)
Rachel: You guys, guess what guess what guess what?
Chandler: What, the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending trident?



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