Michael Cera (back to the M list / C list)

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm, like, in love with you.

Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?

Juno MacGuff: No, I mean, like, for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...

Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.

Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.

Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.

Ramona V. Flowers: We all have baggage.

Scott Pilgrim: Yeah well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes.

Stacey Pilgrim: Next time, we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends.

Scott Pilgrim: Seven.

Stacey Pilgrim: Well, that's not that bad.

Scott Pilgrim: You know her?

Ramona V. Flowers: It was just a phase.

Scott Pilgrim: You had a sexy phase?

Ramona V. Flowers: I was just a litte bi-curious.

Roxy Richter: I'm just a little bi-furious!

Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.

Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?

Wallace Wells: The other L-word.

Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?

Scott Pilgrim: You're pretentious, this club sucks, I have beef. Let's fight.

Fogell: Yo guys! 'Sup?

Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?

Fogell: No no, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!

Evan: Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait. You changed your name to McLovin?

Fogell: Yeah.

Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?

Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.

Seth: And you landed on McLovin.

Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.

Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?

Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.

Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?

Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?

Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!

Fogell: Fuck you.

Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2, it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!

Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?

Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?

Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?

Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's... it's a fine ID; it'll... it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?

Fogell: I am McLovin!

Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!

Evan: I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.

Becca: I'm so wet right now.

Evan: Yeah... they said that would happen in Health Class.

Evan: I heard she got breast reduction surgery.

Seth: What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.

Evan: She had back problems, man.

Evan: Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing. It's the best.

Oh: I'm a virgin by choice.

Zed: Ha. Not your choice!

Zed: You could be my right-hand man.

Oh: I've seen what you do with your right hand. No, thank you.