Mila Kunis (back to the M list / K list)

Lily: Did you have some sort of lezzie wet dream about me? Was I good?

Meg Griffin: I just want to kill myself. I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.

[Lois and Peter stare in silence.]

Meg Griffin: I'm allergic to peanuts.

[Peter and Lois keep staring.]

Meg Griffin: You don't know anything about me! [Runs upstairs]

Peter Griffin: Who was that guy?

Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad!

Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, you idiot.

Chris Griffin: Yeah, but mine's smarter!

Connie: You know, Meg, there's no dogs allowed. So, you're going to have to leave. But Brian can stay.

Brian Griffin: You know, Connie, I think I have this theory about why you're such a bitch.

Connie: Excuse me?

Meg Griffin: Brian, let's just go.

Brian Griffin: No, no, no, no, no, no. Hang on a minute, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving handjobs when you were twelve. But now you can't stand to look in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age nineteen, you're gonna be a worn out chalky skinned burlap sack that even your own stepdad won't want. How is that? Am I in the ballpark?

[Connie runs off crying.]

Tommy: The babies you two are gonna have. Those things are gonna get *really* big and then *really* small.

Jamie: We're not together.

Tommy: That was a highly inappropriate series of comments and I apologize.

Jamie: I really have to stop buying into this bullshit Hollywood cliche of true love. Shut up, Katherine Heigl, you stupid, little liar!

Dylan: Why do women think the only way to get men to do what they want is to manipulate them?

Jamie: History, personal experience, romantic comedies.

Dylan: Breasts.

Jamie: Really? I think they're so tiny.

Dylan: They're still breasts.

Jamie: Thank you!

Oz: Where's your broom?

Theodora: You don't know much about witches, do you?