Quotes from Woody Allen movies and TV shows - page 5 of 8

Larry Lipton: How could you see her? She's dead. Not only is she dead, she's been cremated. It's not even Halloween.

Lillian House: Exercising changed my life.
Larry Lipton: I prefer to atrophy.

Larry Lipton: My favorite thing in life is, you know, to look at cancelled postage.

Larry Lipton: Meanwhile, I can't get that Flying Dutchman theme out of my head. Remind me tomorrow to buy up all the Wagner records in town and rent a chainsaw.

Larry Lipton: I forbid. I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding... Is that what you do when I'm forbidding?

Larry Lipton: New York is the city that never sleeps! That's why we don't live in Duluth. That, plus I don't even know where Duluth is. Lucky me.

Carol Lipton: Look at you, you're all white.
Larry Lipton: All the blood rushed to my brother.

Larry Lipton: I like a hotel with lots of blue powder sprinkled along the base boards.

Larry Lipton: I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Carol Lipton: You know I've never seen a dead body before.
Larry Lipton: I have. My uncle Morris, 93 years old. He collapsed from too many lumps in his cereal.

Larry Lipton: I'm a world renowned claustrophobic.

Larry Lipton: I think it's a reasonable assumption that if you're dead you don't suddenly turn up in the New York City Transit System.

Carol Lipton: Well, listen, I think maybe I will go back to seeing my shrink, I think, I think I.
Larry Lipton: You don't have to see your shrink, there's nothing wrong with you that can't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet.

Larry Lipton: This guy gets his jollies from licking the back of postage stamps.
Ted: I can see that, depending on who's on the stamp.

Larry Lipton: Ted has a mind like a steel sieve.

Carol Lipton: Did you see this? This man in Missouri killed twelve victims, dismembered them, and ate them.
Larry Lipton: Really? Well, it's an alternative lifestyle.

Andrew: Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.

Andrew: I'm not a poet. I don't die for love. I work on Wall Street.

Ariel: How's your marriage?
Andrew: My marriage is fine.
Ariel: Ya?
Andrew: It's not working but it's fine.

Andrew: Only a drunken, infantile idiot shoots himself over love, not an internist.