Quotes from Tony Shalhoub movies and TV shows - page 2 of 2

Mr. Monk and the Actor - S5-E1

Dr. Kroger: And they cancelled the movie?
Monk: He said he wanted to play a character that wasn't so dark and depressing. He's in England, doing Hamlet.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Really, Really Dead Guy - S5-E15

Julie Teeger: There you go. You're online.
Monk: Oh... Oh... I'm on the web! The World Wide Web.
Julie Teeger: Welcome to 1998, Mr. Monk.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk Visits a Farm - S5-E14

Jimmy Belmont: Well, here I am. You wanna ask me something, go right ahead.
Monk: OK. What's back there? Let me guess. Fields of reefer.
Jimmy: Fields of reefer? What kind of cop were you?
Monk: You know what I mean. Ditchweed. Boo. The old Ali Babba.
Jimmy: What makes you think I'd actually...
Monk: Magic Dragon, Bambalachi, Yellow Submarine, Black Bart, Doctor Giggles, Kentucky Blue. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Railroad Weed. That's right, the Devil's Parsley. Skunk. Splim, Splam, Mooster. Side Salad.
Jimmy: Side Salad?

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Three Julies - S6-E13

Dr. Kroger: So, uh, a glass eyeball, huh?
Monk: The mother died three months ago. The son never reported it.
Dr. Kroger: Wait, did the son kill the mother?
Monk: The doctors say no. It was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body. He carried her from room to room like nothing happened.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. See, he couldn't function without her. They call it "radical cognitive bonding."
Monk: At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?
Dr. Kroger. Yes. And I've always been very proud of you for that.

Bishop73

Mr. Monk and the Dog - S8-E11

Monk: Your aunt Natalie's out front, so she'll probably give you a ride home.
Anne Marie: You said $5.
Monk: Right. Oh, do you have change for a $100?
Anne Marie: Yes.
Monk: Really? Then you won't need my five.

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Molly Evans: You know what? I don't care. I don't care. Let him win. He wins. It was a perfect murder. I just want to move on.
Adrian Monk: You could live with that? No, you couldn't.
Molly Evans: I'll learn to live with it.

Natalie Teeger: He thinks we abandoned him.
Adrian Monk: It was more of a betrayal, actually.

Erica: You remember an address you saw on a Post-It note two days ago?
Natalie Teeger: It's a gift... and a curse.
Adrian Monk: I'm no longer so sure about the gift part.

Rick Eden: I understand there was a story about me in the Times just this morning.
Adrian Monk: Yes, I read it.
Rick Eden: Oh, and do you think they did me justice?
Adrian Monk: Do you deserve justice?

Stottlemeyer: You know, I don't think I've ever seen your feet before.
Adrian Monk: I have, three times.

Stottlemeyer: I figured I'd hang out long enough to help you nail the son of a bitch. Thats what we do, right?
Adrian Monk: It's what we do.

Adrian Monk: You think money can buy anything?
Rick Eden: I do. And here's why, because it can.

Dr. Neven Bell: Adrian, everyone has problems, and fears, and disappointments. They're all coping. How are they different from you?
Adrian Monk: Well, for one thing, they're coping.

Adrian Monk: For nearly a decade, that particular model... the Kitchen King 480 with the digital timer and self-cleaning oven... was the best-selling appliance in North America. I bought mine on March 1, 1985, from Carl's Appliances on Rockaway Boulevard. I had it for 22 years. It was one of the longest relationships of my life, and certainly one of the happiest.

Rick Eden: A billion dollars. What were you thinking?
Adrian Monk: I was thinking about my wife. Molly was her baby. You broke her baby's heart.

Victor Kershaw: I'm a self-made man. I've made a lot of money!
Daniel Lugo: Why don't you spend some of it on salads?
Victor Kershaw: You know who invented salads? Poor people!

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: You will go to prison.
Agent Frank Haddad: You know what happens to women in prison?
Elise Kraft: Mmmmm... yummm.

Arthur Kriticos: First rule: no throwing stones.

Arthur Kriticos: Okay, I want you guys to stay right here. Don't move.
Kathy Kriticos: Dad, you're being paranoid and over-protective.
Arthur Kriticos: Yeah, of all this stuff.

Arthur Kriticos: I told them not to leave this spot.
Dennis Rafkin: They're kids - what do you expect?
Arthur Kriticos: Yeah, well, thank you, Dr. Phil.