Quotes from Mike Myers movies and TV shows

Steve Rubell: Prison can be so fucking dull at night.

Austin Powers: Mole! Bloody mole! We aren't supposed to talk about the bloody mole, but there's a bloody mole winking me in the face! I want to cut it off, chop it off, and make guacaMOLE!

Austin Powers: Twins, Basil. Twins.

Fat Bastard: On top of spaghetti all covered in. Corn? I don't remember having any corn.

Fat Bastard: Unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina.

Dr. Evil: Well congratulations, numbnuts! You've succeeded in turning me into a frikkin' Jack in the Box!

Austin Powers: Oops. I did it again, baby.

Dr. Evil: You mean that I actually have frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?

Austin Powers: What's wrong with your neck?
Nigel Powers: I took a Viagra, got stuck in me throat, I've had a stiff neck for hours.

Foxxy Cleopatra: You have the right to remain sexy, sugar.
Austin Powers: Oh, I hope there's a search involved.

Austin Powers: Your spy car's a Mini?
Nigel Powers: It's not the size mate, it's how you use it.

Dr. Evil: I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.

Austin Powers: Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Tell me something I don't know.
Austin Powers: I open-mouth kissed a horse once.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Say what?
Austin Powers: That's something you don't know.

Austin Powers: Like I'd ever let Goldmember get away.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Austin? Goldmember's getting away.

Dr. Evil: Quid pro-quo, Mr. Powers.
Austin Powers: Yes, squid pro row.

Goldmember: Hey everybody! I am from Holland. Isn't that vierd? Yesh.

Dr. Evil: Alright, let me find my balls, for God's sakes! 1,2, and 3, okay. I'm okay.

Frau Farbissina: Remember when we froze your semen? You said that if it looked like you weren't coming back we should try to make you a son so that a part of you could live forever?
Dr. Evil: Oh, sure.
Frau Farbissina: Well, after a couple of years, we got a little impatient. Dr. Evil, I want you to meet your son.
Dr. Evil: My son?
Frau Farbissina: Ja. SCOTT!

Dr. Evil: Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. A sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical; summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fifteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shawn scrotum. At the age of eighteen, I went off to evil medical school. From there.

Dr. Evil: Throw me a frickin' bone here!