Quotes from Lesley Ann Warren movies and TV shows

Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake: There is a distinct difference between killing someone and fucking them.

Wadsworth: The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun.
Miss Scarlet: Oh come on, you don't think I'm going to fall for that old trick.
Wadsworth: It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study, two at the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and one at the singing telegram.
Miss Scarlet: That's not six.
Wadsworth: One plus two plus two plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Uh-uh. There was only one shot that got the chandelier, so that's one plus two plus ONE plus one.
Wadsworth: Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not one plus two plus one plus one.
Miss Scarlet: Okay, fine. One plus two plus one...SHUT UP! Point is, there's one bullet left in this gun, and guess who's going to get it!

Mr. Green: Who would want to kill the cook?
Miss Scarlet: Dinner wasn't that bad.
Colonel Mustard: How can you make jokes at a time like this?
Miss Scarlet: It's my defense mechanism.
Colonel Mustard: Some defense. You know, if I was the killer I would kill you next.
Miss Scarlet: Oh!?
Colonel Mustard: I said if, if. Hey, come on, there is only one admitted killer here and it is certainly not me, it is her.
Mrs. White: Me? I've admitted nothing.
Colonel Mustard: Well, you've paid the blackmail. How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine, or other womens'?
Colonel Mustard: Yours.
Mrs. White: Five.
Colonel Mustard: Five?
Mrs. White: Yes, five. Husbands should be like kleenex; soft, strong and disposable.
Colonel Mustard: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies.
Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
Colonel Mustard: Right.

Mr. Green: So how did you know that Colonel Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients?
Colonel Mustard: Certainly not.
Mr. Green: I was asking Miss Scarlet.
Colonel Mustard: Well, you tell them it's not true.
Miss Scarlet: It's not true.
Professor Plum: Is that true?
Miss Scarlet: No, it's not true.
Mr. Green: A-ha! So it is true.
Wadsworth: A double negative.
Colonel Mustard: Double negative? You mean you have photographs?
Wadsworth: That sounds like a confession to me. In fact, a double negative has lead to proof positive. I'm afraid you gave yourself away.

Mrs. White: He didn't actually seem to like me very much. He had threatened to kill me in public.
Miss Scarlet: Why would he want to kill you in public?
Wadsworth: I think she meant he threatened, in public, to kill her. [Rolls eyes].

Bishop73

Mrs. White: Are you a cop?
Mr. Green: No, I'm a plant.
Miss Scarlet: A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit.
Mr. Green: Very funny.

Miss Scarlet: Please don't hate me for trying to shoot you, dear.
Wadsworth: Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn.

Wilson: Eddy... yeah, he's me new "china."
Elaine: What?
Wilson: China plate... mate.

Ed: Do you understand half the shit he says?
Elaine: No, but I know what he means.

Lula Rogers: If is wasn't for me, you would probably still be singing in some run-down rat hole for a bunch of fat cowgirls from Iowa.
Dusty Wyatt Chandler: Yeah, and if it wasn't for me, you would probably be a waitress there.