Quotes from Kieran Culkin movies and TV shows

Tim Sullivan: They? There is no they, we are they..

Sookie: What kind of name is 'Igby'?
Igby: The kind of name that someone named 'Sookie' is in no position to question.

Sookie: You have a huge crush on me, don't you?
Igby: Fuck off.

Igby: Well, I guess DH told you.
Mimi: What?
Igby: Well, we've decided to bump all those incredibly prominent and terribly chic persons that you were expecting to speak at your memorial and, well, have me speak for two hours or so.
Mimi: What a clever idea. You do understand though, don't you, that it is customary in a eulogy to at least make reference to the deceased?
Igby: I intend to, Mother... time permitting.

Sookie: He's your brother, you act like you hate him.
Igby: I do. I do hate him. He's totally hateable. Evil niblet fuck.

Igby: You know just because you're dying, I'm not going to apologize. Not for anything that I've ever done.

Sookie: Why aren't you in school now?
Igby: Sheer ingenuity.
Sookie: You're funny.

Sookie: Do you hate my guts?
Igby: For like a month I did. Now you're not even in my top five.

Igby: It's ironic that the first time in my life that I feel remotely affectionate for her, is when she's dead.
Oliver: You beat up her corpse.
Igby: I know, but after that.

Igby: She's a dancer who doesn't dance and her friend is a painter who doesn't paint. It's kind of a Boho version of the Island of the Lost Toys.

Igby: How many Vassar professors and intellectual theologians beget nymphomaniacal, pseudo-Bohemian JAPs?
Sookie: I am not a JAP.

Sookie: Dimebag... well that got your attention.
Igby: Pavlov's pothead... I hear the sound of a bong clink and my eyes begin to water.
Sookie: That's funny.

Igby: Fuckwit.

Mimi: I take it you know that D.H. is your father?
Igby: No.
Mimi: Then I'm really glad I told you.

Igby: I'm drowning in assholes.

Bunny: Igby, I could just eat you with a spoon.
Igby: Don't.

Wallace Wells: Guess who's drunk!
Scott Pilgrim: I guess Wallace.
Wallace Wells: You guess right!

Wallace Wells: If you want something bad, you have to fight for it. Step up your game, Scott. Break out the L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: Lesbian?
Wallace Wells: The other L-word.
Scott Pilgrim: ...Lesbians?

Scott Pilgrim: What's the website for Amazon.ca?
Wallace Wells: Amazon.ca.

Wallace Wells: Look, I didn't write the gay handbook. If you got a problem with it, take it up with Liberace's ghost.