Quotes from Brendan Gleeson movies and TV shows

Colm Doherty: If punching a policeman is a sin then we may as well pack up and go home.

Colm Doherty: I do worry sometimes I might just be entertaining myself while staving off the inevitable.

Stephen: Fine speech. Now what do we do?
William Wallace: Just be yourselves.
Hamish: Where are you going?
William Wallace: I'm going to pick a fight.
Hamish: Well, we didn't get dressed up for nothing.

Hamish: Personal escort of the princess.
William Wallace: Aye.
Hamish: Musta made an impression.
William Wallace: Aye.
Hamish: I didn't think you were in the tent that long.

William: We'll make spears. Hundreds of them. Long spears. Twice as long as a man.
Hamish: That long?
William: Aye.
Hamish: Some men are longer than others.
Hamish's dad: Your mother been telling you stories about me again.

Stephen: Him? That can't be William Wallace. I'm prettier than this man. All right, Father. I'll ask him. If I risk my neck for you, would I get a chance to kill Englishmen?
Hamish: Is your father a ghost, or do you converse with the Almighty?
Stephen: In order to find his equal, an Irishman is forced to talk to God. Yes, Father! The Almighty says don't change the subject, just answer the fucking question!

Father James Lavelle: I think there's too much talk about sins and not enough about virtues.
Fiona Lavelle: What would be your number one?
Father James Lavelle: I think forgiveness has been highly underrated.

Father James Lavelle: The limits of His mercy have not been set.

Father Leary: I didn't realise you hated me that much.
Father James Lavelle: I don't hate you, at all.
Father Leary: Then, why?
Father James Lavelle: It's just you have no integrity. That's the worst thing I could say about anybody.

Father James Lavelle: Leave home. Go somewhere where your chances of meeting available young women with loose morals are increased proportionately.
Milo Herlihy: Sligo town, d'you mean?
Father James Lavelle: No, I was thinking more: Dublin, London, New York.
Milo Herlihy: New York? I'd only end up getting the aids, knowing my luck. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Father. I can't say it's been of much help, but it's good to get these things out in the open, I suppose.

The Writer: You know how you can tell when you're really getting old?
Father James Lavelle: How?
The Writer: No-one ever says the word 'death' around you any more.

Father James Lavelle: I've always felt there's something inherently psychopathic about joining the army in peace time, as far as I'm concerned people join the army to find out what its like to kill someone. I hardly think that's an inclination that should be encouraged in modern society, do you?

Jack Van Meter: Get the hell down from there. While you're grandstanding here the city is starting to burn. Jimmy for Christ sakes.
Det. Sgt. Eldon Perry Jr.: If the city is starting to burn, Jack, it's partly because of guys like you and me. And I may be a goddamm alcoholic but that doesn't mean I can't tell the truth - and I've got all the deep deep dirt right here. Somebody put the cufs on me - let me start talking.

Jack Van Meter: Fuck L.A.

Miller: I thought we were all on the same side?
Martin Brown: Don't be naive.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, these men are armed and dangerous, and you being an FBI agent you're more used to shooting at unarmed women and children...
FBI agent Wendell Everett: Oh, fuck you, Sergeant!

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm Irish. Racism is part of my culture.

Sergeant Gerry Boyle: Listen, something's come up, and I'm not just talking about my cock.

Gabriela McBride: He's gay. Like when one man puts his...
Sergeant Gerry Boyle: I'm familiar with the mechanics of it, yeah.

Professor McGonagall: Professor Moody! What are you doing?
Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Teaching.
Professor McGonagall: Is... Is that a student?
Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Technically it's a ferret.