Jon Sandys

Trappers Delight - S3-E3

Tiger: Boy! Why did you have to bring us to yet another time where women are treated like garbage?
Josh: Well I'm so sorry, it's called 'all of human history'.

Jon Sandys ★

The Dark Compass - S1-E3

Zoe: Put him down.
Dracula: Why?
Zoe: This is England. Conversation precedes dinner.

Jon Sandys ★

Blood Vessel - S1-E2

Agatha: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Dracula: What's unclear to you?
Agatha: You went to the dining room? You don't eat food.
Dracula: I enjoy company, and I like people.
Agatha: Then why do you kill them?
Dracula: Why do you pick flowers? (00:14:00)

Jon Sandys ★

The Rules of the Beast - S1-E1

Dracula: I'm undead, I'm not unreasonable.

Jon Sandys ★

Hard Times - S1-E3

Crowley: That unicorn's gonna make a run for it! Oh, it's too late. It's too late! Ah, you've still got one of them.

Jon Sandys ★

The Iron Throne - S8-E6

Tyrion: No-one is very happy, which means it's a good compromise, I suppose.

Jon Sandys ★

PUP-E Q. Barkington - S2-E9

Wolf: If I could absorb all the world's pain before it touched you, I'd do it. But I also cut a guy's arm off like 10 minutes ago, so I'm kind of a mixed bag, parent-wise.

Jon Sandys ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Maude Flanders: Excuse me, Edna. I don't think we're talking about love here. We are talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down?

Jon Sandys ★

The Tom/Brady - S3-E8

Kev: What about bees?
Cassidy: Bees. Did you just say bees?
Kev: Yeah, like on Wicker Man. Put a cage around his head and release the bees.
Cassidy: Christ.
Hoover: I vote stabbing.
Cassidy: Look, the Wicker Man is a brilliant film, but we're talking about killing a man here, Kev.
Kev: I know.
Cassidy: No, you don't! Look, where are you even gonna get bees from? What, you have ready access to bees all of a sudden? You a beekeeper now, are you?
Kev: Yeah, I am.
Cassidy: You are?
Kev: Yes.
Cassidy: Beekeeper...? All right. Apologies. I'm sorry. It's actually...it's a brilliant idea, we'll go with the bees. Do you wanna do the bees? Let's do the bees. I'd imagine we need some honey.

Jon Sandys ★

Worlds Finest - S1-E18

Cat Grant: All four of you standing there doing nothing, you look like the attractive yet non-threatening, racially diverse cast of a CW show.

Jon Sandys ★

Old Wounds - S1-E1

[A banana is reduced to a shrivelled husk.]
Ed Mercer: So...it's an anti-banana ray?
Kelly Grayson: It's really interesting.
Ed Mercer: We need no longer fear the banana.
Kelly Grayson: Does it work on all fruit?
Ed Mercer: What about salads?

Jon Sandys ★

The One Where Ross Can't Flirt - S5-E19

Ross: By the way, if it makes you feel any better, I happen to like 8 year-old boys.

Jon Sandys ★

Serenity (1) - S1-E11

Zoe: If they take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order.

Jon Sandys ★

Serenity (1) - S1-E11

Mal: Now I gotta know how close the Alliance is. Exactly how much you told them before Wash scrambled your call. So I've given Jayne here the job of finding out.
Jayne: [Unsheathes a big knife.] He was non-specific as to how.
Mal: [Mutters to Jayne.] Now you only gotta scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

Jon Sandys ★

Beginning of the End - S1-E22

Coulson: I'm going to invent new ways to ruin the rest of your life. And we'll do whatever's necessary to get HYDRA intel from you, but your torture... Is going be internal.
May: And a little bit external.
Coulson: Sure, some of that.

Jon Sandys ★