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Mean Girls

Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

Damian: Health, Spanish... You're taking 12th Grade calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Eww. Why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.

Cady: And they have this book, this "Burn Book" where they write mean things about girls in our grade.
Janis: Well what does it say about me?
Cady: You're not in it.
Janis: Those bitches.

Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Lea Edwards: She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... In Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... It was awesome.

Short Girl: Hey, get out of here.
Damian: Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!

Gretchen Weiners: Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only one that knows about her nose job. Oh my God, pretend you didn't hear that!

Janis: What is that smell?
Cady: Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
Janis: You smell like a baby prostitute.
Cady: Thanks.

Cady's mum: Where's Cady?
Cady's dad: She went out.
Cady's mum: She's grounded.
Cady's dad: Are they not supposed to be let out when they're grounded?

Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Gretchen: Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.

Janis: Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?
Cady: They wanted me to get socialized.
Damian: Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.
Cady: What are you talking about?
Janis: You're a regulation hottie.
Cady: What?
Damian: Own it.

Regina: I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... So, just promise me you won't make fun of her!

Janis: Wow, Damian, you've truly out-gayed yourself.

Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?
Regina: Please stop talking.

Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.

Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady: Um... The Spice Girls?
Regina: I love her. She's like a Martian!

Mr. Duvall: Miss Smith, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?

Bethany Byrd: Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons. But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina!

Coach Carr: At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia. And die.

Cady: I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.

Cady: She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.
Janis: I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.

Mrs. George: Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.

Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!

Janis: We gotta crack Gretchen. Once we crack Gretchen, we crack the lock on Regina's whole dirty history.
Damien: Say crack again.
Janis: Crack.

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [After Lea's left.] That is the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen.

Cady: You're not stupid, Karen.
Karen: No, I am actually. I'm failing almost everything!
Cady: Well there must be something you're good at.
Karen: I can stick my whole fist in my mouth! Wanna see?
Cady: No. Anything else?
Karen: Well, I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well, they can tell when it's raining.

Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up. Kiss, just don't do it, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.

Cady: Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

Regina: I gave him everything... I was half a virgin when I met him!

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Mistakes

Cady breaks up her Spring Fling tiara that she receives. On stage, she breaks it up into many pieces and throws them out into the crowds; it is clear that the amount we see being thrown into the crowds is a major amount of pieces - almost too much from just one tiara. However then when she leaves the stage, we see her holding approximately half of the tiara still. This would not be possible from the aforementioned amount that Cady has already snapped off and thrown into the crowd.

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Trivia

Tina Fey, the woman who plays Ms. Norbury, was also the screenplay writer for the movie.

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