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Jay: The whole fuckin' world's against us dude, I swear to God.

Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the sky, you know.

[Rufus falls out of the sky.]

Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know!

Bethany: Wait a minute. Christ. You know Christ?

Rufus: KNOW Him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks!

Loki: Our last four days on earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid.

Metatron: Were you to hear God's true voice, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode inside your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.

[Silent Bob has just thrown a passenger off a train and turns back to the stunned passengers.]

Silent Bob: No ticket.

Metatron: Any documented occasion where some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking of me. Or they're talking to themselves.

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