Dave: Hey, no smiling. You're still grounded. Remember?
Reese Houser: Don't say his name.
Chris Rock: I don't sing, Bill.
Bill Murray: Oh, you can sing, you're a rapper.
Chris Rock: I don't rap... do you know me!?
Bill Murray: S-Some.
Rufus: Sorry, you can't park here.
Miss Shepherd: No, I've had guidance. This is where it should go.
Rufus: Guidance? Who from?
Miss Shepherd: The Virgin Mary. I spoke to her yesterday. She was outside the post office.
Emily: You know, I've heard of spirit photography before, but I've never actually seen it in person.
Pete: You brought your guitar.
Ricki: Yeah, just the one.
Professor #1: I hear Abe Lucas is going to be joining the faculty this summer.
Professor #2: Really? That should put some Viagra into the philosophy department.
David Lipsky: He wants more than he has. I want precisely what he already has.
Ben: All right, scouts. Let's kick some zombie ass.
James: Just be glad you don't have what Samantha had got.
Riley: Why, what'd she have?
James: Well, you know, they're not really telling me much but my buddy over at the coroner's office said it's some kind of necrotic STD - it's some really gnarly shit.
Riley: Shit?
Riley: Yeah... well you didn't fuck her did you?
James: Neh... What? No.
Sheriff Kretzer: You don't... Steal... A Fucking... COP CAR.
Gertrude Bell: Even if you do not hear from me for several months, pay no attention and send no-one.
Charles Doughty-Wylie: The Druzes will take you for a spy.
Gertrude Bell: Yes, well maybe I am. Maybe I am a spy. But I am a spy for no-one. No one but myself.
Michael Stone: Sometimes there's no lesson. That's a lesson in itself.
Myrtle 'Tilly' Dunnage: Take your clothes off.
Molly Dunnage: A murderer... and a lesbian.
Jim White: So, do you guys get paid by the hour?
David Diaz: No, the field.
Burt Gummer: That's right. Fly right into my crosshairs, you fire-farting son of a bitch.
Jupiter Jones: Yeah, because a dream is the only way any of this make sense.
Caine Wise: Compared to what? The idea that you're the only intelligent species, on the only inhabitable planet, in a universe so full of planets that you don't even have a number to describe how many there are.