Thorkel: The Celt says that Jesus Christ never sleeps, that he walks amongst us.
Beowulf: Oh, that's all we need, a god gone mad from lack of sleep.
Ian Ziering: Come on, Bri. We're late, we're late.
Brian Austin Green: Dude, it's fucking Mapquest. I told you, never again with that piece of shit.
Kadaj: So what if I'm a puppet? Once upon a time... you were too.
Andy Fidler: I just think we should be cooperating if I'm going to be your partner.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You are not my partner.
Andy Fidler: Really? Then what am I?
Special Agent Derrick Vann: You're my bitch. My own personal bitch. When I pull the strings, you dance. Till then, you sit there, keep your mouth shut, and don't say a word... like the puppet you are.
Vladimir: My companion seems to be missing. I do not know what has become of him.
Kham: Where the hell is my elephant?
Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan: If we're lucky, the zombie plague will end up as a footnote in the history books. No worse than aids or bubonic plague.
Jonathan Cold: You see, in this business... the keys to the kingdom is weapons-grade plutonium. If you ain't got that, you ain't got shit.
Reporter: Conners, can we have a few words?
Quentin Conners: Yeah, I have two words for you. Blow me.
Sonia Rand: I don't have time for stupid idiots.
Travis Ryer: Well, why don't you make some time. How about we stop with the insults, because it is starting to get on my nerves.
Sonia Rand: You think I devoted my career to designing an amusement park ride for rich men to compensate for their little willies by shooting prehistoric animals, is that what you really think?
Travis Ryer: No, what I think is that if you were a guy, someone would have probably knocked you on your ass a long time ago.
Kristin Richards: You may not remember.
Elena Sandoval: But you'll never forget.
Alexsie Kutchinov: We have a saying in my country - don't blame the baker, when the butcher bakes the bread.
John Tuliver: What the hell does that mean?
Alexsie Kutchinov: It means you're fucked.
Neha: What happened here?
Shashank Dheer: Point 38 bullet and a man.
Beck: Hey Bish... Bish... Bish... Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish, Bish... bish.
Goddess Manshen: Once you have accepted your destiny, nothing can alter it unless time flows backwards, snow falls in the spring, and the dead come back to life.
Radio Locust: It's 6am in the Bolivarian Republic of Marijuana. Let's listen some music while we call one of our herbal therapists.
Tracy Stokes: I think I just swallowed Nemo.