Maggie Smith (back to the M list / S list)

Orderly: My wife is from Mumbai.

Muriel: Well don't blame me, you married her!

Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.

Muriel: Most things don't. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.

Flitwick: You do realize we can't keep out You-Know-Who indefinitely.

Minerva McGonagall: That doesn't mean we can't delay him. And his name is Voldemort, so you might as well use it, he's going to try and kill you either way.

Minerva McGonagall: I've always wanted to use that spell!

Filch: Students in the corridor! Students out of bed!

Professor Minerva McGonagall: They are supposed to be out of bed, you blithering idiot.

Professor McGonagall: Now, Mr. Weasley, put your right hand on my waist.

Ron: Whaaa?

Professor McGonagall: We never use Transfiguration on a student as punishment! Didn't Dumbledore tell you?

Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: He might've mentioned it.

Professor McGonagall: Professor Moody! What are you doing?

Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Teaching.

Professor McGonagall: Is... is that a student?

Professor 'Mad-Eye' Moody: Technically it's a ferret.

Professor McGonagall: Mr. Potter, are you and Miss Patil ready?

Harry Potter: Ready? For what?

Professor McGonagall: To dance! It's traditional for the three... well, in this case, four champions to begin the dance. Surely I told you that?

Harry Potter: No.

Professor McGonagall: Oh... well, now you know.

Professor McGonagall: Potter is a boy! Not a piece of meat!