Willie: Charlene, do you think it's possible we can make enough gifts to meet our quota?
Charlene: Baseball bats, lose four seconds, 55... Yeah, it is possible.
Willie: It is, but, Fred, that's not what the kids asked for.
Fred Claus: Yeah, but all that matters is that each of the kids get a toy. That they have something that they can open when they wake up in the morning. Most importantly, they all know there's somebody who's thinking about them.
Quotes from John Michael Higgins movies and TV shows
Willie: Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable on bottom, Fred?
Fred Claus: To be honest Willie, I don't think it's gonna make much of a difference either way.
Clyde: Where do you think you're going?
Fred Claus: Delivering presents.
Clyde: No you're not! Santa is the only one who can deliver the presents.
Willie: No, only a Claus can deliver the presents, and that is a Claus.
Reporter #3: Are you gonna kick Jay Leno's ass?
David Letterman: I'm gonna kick your ass, buddy.
David Letterman: Peter, take that stupid rug off your head. And Morty, straighten your tie. This isn't a tractor pull.
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