Quotes from Joe Pantoliano movies and TV shows

Mogan: Hey Bruno. What are you? A 65?
Bruno: Model 63. Deluxe.
Kelp: 63? Talk about ancient.
Bruno: Your sister didn't seem to mind.

Some Idiot: These are your penises? Andy, I can't work with this.

Norby: Did a baby get off this bus? A little guy about two feet tall. It's an emergency.
Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.
Norby: He was BY himself.

Norby: Eddie, what else did Mary's little lamb do?
Eddie: Didn't he put, uh, Humpty Dumpty back together again?
Veeko: That was Nat King Cole.N.
Eddie: Nat King Cole stuck his finger in the pie and yanked out the bird.

Captain Howard: Look at this mess! It’s carnage!
Mike: I didn’t do all this.
Captain Howard: You didn’t shoot anybody?
Mike: Oh, come on, Captain. You know I shot some people.

Capt. Howard: I've got so much brass up my ass that I can play the Star Spangled Banner.

Mike Lowrey: Captain, is it possible we can discuss potential reimbursement...
Capt. Howard: The department doesn't cover personal property, that's why we drive police cars.

Capt. Howard: 22 cars and a boat, totalled? How did hell you sink a boat?

Caesar: You don't wanna shoot me, Vi. Do ya. Do ya? I know you don't.
Violet: Caesar, you don't know shit.

Corky: You can't kill me.
Caesar: Oh really? Why not?
Corky: I could be lying.

Caesar: I'm a dead man, Johnnie? I'm a fucking dead man? Guess again, Johnnie. Who's the dead man? Who? Who's dead, fuckface? Who? Who? I can't hear you, Johnnie. Guess again. Take another guess, Johnnie. Take another fucking guess.

Caesar: What did she do to you?
Violet: Everything you couldn't.

Cypher: Why, oh why, didn't I take the BLUE pill?

Cypher: You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy, and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realise? Ignorance is bliss.

Cypher: It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, because Kansas is going bye-bye.

Teddy: You're not a killer. That's why you're so good at it.

Teddy: You don't know who you are anymore.
Leonard Shelby: Of course I do. I'm Leonard Shelby. I'm from San Francisco.
Teddy: No, that's who you were. Maybe it's time you started investigating yourself.

Teddy: You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.

Teddy: So you lie to yourself to be happy. There's nothing wrong with that. We all do it.

Joel Goodson: You listen to me, buster. You, you a-hole.
Guido: A-hole?
Joel Goodson: I want my stuff back right now.
Guido: Now you listen to me, you little fuck. Not only you take my two best girls, you call me names. If I didn't have any self-respect, it wouldn't just be the furniture, it'd be your arms, your legs, your head.