Quotes from G.W. Bailey movies and TV shows

Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney! I already told you once. Nobody screws with me.
Cadet Carey Mahoney: Well, maybe you'll meet the right girl and all of that'll change.

Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: You make me sick.
Carey Mahoney: Thank you, sir. I make everybody sick.

Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: Son, where did you get that gun?
Cadet Eugene Tackleberry: My mom gave it to me.

Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: You know, Mahoney, I'd like to spend the next ten weeks breaking you into little pieces. But I won't. Because you're bad. You're bad for morale, Mahoney. Oh, you look like the sweet little boy from next door. But you don't fool me, oh no. You're the devil, and you're rotten to the core, and you're ruining my chance to train some people who might make pretty good cops!

Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!

Captain Harris: C.O.P. What a joke. You know what C.O.P. really stands for, Proctor?
Lieutenant Proctor: No, Sir. What?
Captain Harris: Collection of piss-ants.
[Lieutenant Proctor laughs.]
Captain Harris: That's not funny, Proctor.
Lieutenant Proctor: No, sir.
Captain Harris: This C.O.P. business is a bad idea and I'm going to prove it.
Lieutenant Proctor: Yes, sir.

Sgt. Moses Hightower: Sir, I realize this is your jurisdiction. But if there is a rescue attempt, we would like to volunteer.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Commissioner Murdock, I couldn't agree more. I think it is vital that the rescues know Commandant Lassard intimately. Now, I can vouch for the abilities of these officers. After all, I trained them myself.
Sgt. Larvell Jones: Must be the drugs.

Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor! Where is Proctor?

Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here.
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either.