Quotes from Anthony LaPaglia movies and TV shows

John: Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but in the real world... where I live... there're only two kinds of love stories. Boy loses girl and girl loses boy. That's all there is. Somebody always gets left behind. You try to avoid that, you'll end up an old man toastin' yourself with egg nog in the mirror on Christmas Eve. You'll end up dying in your own arms.

Tony Giardino: Charlie, two words: therapy.

Stuart Mackenzie: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Tony Giardino: Shhh.
Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony Giardino: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart Mackenzie: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
Tony Giardino: Shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Has it's own weather system.
Tony Giardino: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart Mackenzie: Head! move.

Tony Giardino: What's the news?
Police Chief: Oh, you wanna hear the news? Well, here's the news! It seems that the old lady that confessed to the murder of Ralph Elliot has also confessed to a couple of other murders.
Tony Giardino: I knew she would! I knew it.
Police Chief: Yeah! Right! Well, she's confessed to the murders of Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding and Julius Caesar. She's a nutcase! A nutcase.

May Mackenzie: Wow, you've turned into a right sexy wee bastard. Do you know that?
Tony Giardino: Thanks, Mrs. Mackenzie.
May Mackenzie: Hasn't he?
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh, I think so.

Tony Giardino: Larry Leonard, crooner, made a name for himself being able to sing in six different languages the song, "Only You.
Charlie Mackenzie: Yes, see?
Tony Giardino: Charlie, does Harriett even know the words to Only You?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, I don't know Tony, we haven't reached that all too critical do you know the words to "Only You" phase in our relationship, so I'm afraid I'm not much help.

Jack Malone: According to the groom, she was an angel.
Martin: I guess love is blind. And deaf. And very, very dumb.
Jack Malone: Spoken like a true romantic.

Jack Malone: I was surprised that your father didn't call me about you.
Martin: I asked him to stay out of it. I don't want any preferential treatment.
Jack Malone: Good, 'cause you're not getting any.