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Tom Banner: My katana! The samurai live on again through me!

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Rae Higgins: Looks like tofu has an evil cousin!

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Badass Santa: How bad ass am I? Soooo bad ass.

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Badass Santa: Sometimes you have to decorate your own tree.

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Badass Santa: What!? Did you say something?

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Nutcracker Flespounder: System malfunction.

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Badass Santa: I love this gun almost as much as Mrs. Claus.

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The Patriarch: The fact that your survival is an accomplishment is pathetic... like you.

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Count Volter: My Zeds will be there soon! Do try to hold your bladder when they arrive.

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Lieutenant Masterson: I'm bloody rolling in it.

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Reverend Alberts: My collection plate, runneth over.

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Donovan Neal: Suck on fire.

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Classic Briar: The old man can still shoot.

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