Phaneron

The Principal and the Pauper - S9-E2

Superintendent Chalmers: The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt.

Phaneron ★

Lisa on Ice - S6-E8

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Phaneron ★

Lisa Gets an A - S10-E7

Ralph: Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Phaneron ★

Radioactive Man - S7-E2

[A group of police K-9's begin tracking Milhouse based on his scent.]
Chief Wiggum: Okay, we can all stop worrying now. These dogs never fail.
Kirk: But, will they just find Milhouse, or will they find him and kill him?
Chief Wiggum: Well, they'll, when they find him, they'll um, they'll um um hum um hush num.
Kirk: Uh, excuse me, you didn't answer me. You just trailed off.
Chief Wiggum: Yeah. Yeah, I did kinda trail off there, didn't I?

Phaneron ★

Deep Space Homer - S5-E15

Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me.
Man on TV: [Pointing at the screen and laughing] You stupid! [Continues laughing]
Homer: D'oh!

Phaneron ★

Beyond Blunderdome - S11-E1

Female Studio Exec: How'd you get here from L.A. so fast?
Mel Gibson: John Travolta flew me in his jet. Now I have to help him move next weekend. He deliberately waited 'til we were in the air to ask me.

Phaneron ★

A Milhouse Divided - S8-E6

Otto: [Walking out of a kitchenware store called Stoner's Pot Palace] Man, that is flagrant false advertising!

Phaneron ★

Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner - S11-E3

Homer: I don't need Lisa to write a good review. "The food at the Gilded Truffle really..." Uh, what's a good word?
Maggie: [Sucks on pacifier].
Homer: "Sucks." That's great. "And the bread was really..." Come on, help me out here.
Santa's Little Helper: Ruff.
Homer: Rough? I don't know, you've been pitching that all night.
Santa's Little Helper: Chewy?
Homer: "Chewy," that's inspired.

Phaneron ★

A Star is Burns - S6-E18

Lisa: What you doin' Ma?
Marge: I'm looking for a film critic to help judge our festival. Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV, and Leonard Maltin is the best looking of them all?
Lisa: Ew!

Phaneron ★

The Trouble With Trillions - S9-E20

Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman live at the Springfield Post Office on Tax Day. It's literally the 11th hour, 10:00 PM, and tardy taxpayers are scrambling to mail their returns by midnight. Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Otto: Taxes? Isn't this the line for Metallica?
Kent Brockman: Sir, uh, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Krusty the Clown: Because I'm an idiot. Happy?

Phaneron ★

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace - S9-E10

Mr. Burns: Does anyone have change for a button?

Phaneron ★

The Canine Mutiny - S8-E20

Bart: "Order by phone: 1-800," our phone doesn't go up to 800. Unless...

Phaneron ★

Homerpalooza - S7-E24

Abe: What the hell are you two doin'?
Barney: It's called "rockin' out."
Homer: You wouldn't understand, Dad. You're not "with it."
Abe: I used to be "with it," but then they changed what "it" was. Now what I'm "with" isn't "it," and what's "it" seems weird and scary to me. It'll happen to you.

Phaneron ★

Bart's Friend Falls in Love - S3-E23

Milhouse: Bart, I don't want you to see me cry.
Bart: Oh, come on, I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over.

Phaneron ★

Tree House of Horror IX - S10-E4

Ed McMahon: From the producers of "When Skirts Fall Off" and "Secrets of National Security Revealed," it's "World's Deadliest Executions."

Phaneron ★

The Old Man and the Key - S13-E13

Homer: Here we are: Branson, Missouri.
Male Charles Bronson Lookalike: No, pally. This is Bronson, Missouri.
Lisa: Well how do we get to Branson?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: Number 10 bus.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: Hey Ma, how 'bout some cookies?
Female Charles Bronson Lookalike: No dice.
Child Charles Bronson Lookalike: This ain't over.

Phaneron ★

Rosebud - S5-E4

Smithers: Here are several fine young men who I'm sure are gonna go far. Ladies and gentlemen, the Ramones.
Mr. Burns: Ah, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves.
Joey Ramone: I'd just like to say this gig sucks!
Johnny Ramone: Hey, up yours Springfield!
[The Ramones perform "Happy Birthday To You" for Mr. Burns.]
CJ Ramone: Go to hell, you old bastard!
Marky Ramone: Hey, I think they liked us!
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those aren't...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!

Phaneron ★

Hungry Hungry Homer - S12-E15

Homer: Who are you?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: The spirit of Cesar Chavez.
Homer: Why do you look like Cesar Romero?
The Spirit of Cesar Chavez: Because you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like.

Phaneron ★

Grade School Confidential - S8-E19

Principal Skinner: The bake sale to raise money for the car wash has been canceled, due to confusion.

Phaneron ★

The Mansion Family - S11-E12

Homer: See that ship over there? They're rebroadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not expressed written consent.

Phaneron ★