Husbands and Wives

Rain: I spent five days searching for the perfect word to describe the husband and that's when I came up with "apucious."
Gabe: Apucious. I looked it up in the dictionary but I couldn't find it.
Rain: Yeah, I know. I made it up.
Gabe: Oh, really.
Rain: Yeah. I thought it described him perfectly.

Sally: It's the Second Law of Thermodynamics: sooner or later everything turns to shit. That's my phrasing, not the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Man: If astrology were true -.
Sam: It is true! It is totally, totally, totally provable, you know?
Female Party Guest: Provable how? From gypsies?
Sam: Well, it's totally logical, right? You know, why wouldn't the position of the planets have an influence on our personalities?

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