Vanessa: Ho-ly shit! Well look who got beaten with the ugly stick. Bob, is that you? My God, I can't believe such an itty bitty gun could make such a big mess out of someone! You are so ugly Bob! Oh and hey I heard you have one of those poop bags where the shit comes out the side, you're just a big old shitbag aren't you Bob! I hope you think of me every time you shit in that thing, motherfucker!

Guard: You didn't have to kill me!

Vanessa: I didn't kill you, you dirty little pervert, now give me your car keys before I cut your pecker off!

Vanessa: What, you're gonna do sex to me when I'm dead?

[To Rhonda's sexual advances.]

Vanessa: All right, I'll make out with you. But no fucking, 'cause I'm straight.

Rhonda: I don't get how a person could go through their whole lives never being into girls. I just... I love girls.

Vanessa: You can keep 'em.

Vanessa: Well you don't have to worry about him anymore. I took care of him.

Detective: Mr. Wolverton is in critical condition, but he's not dead.

Vanessa: Oh, yeah right. I shot him so many times.