Diane: If the O.J. trial taught us anything, it taught us that, in America, you can cut somebody's head off and still be innocent as long as you have enough money. Well Kansas your mom only shoot a guy.
Hannah: I'm gonna be someone's bald bitch.
Lisa Janusch: I don't know about the Hey, but the Ho was right on.
Mrs. Hill: You don't look nothing like your picture.
Kansas: Grandma and Grandpa sent you a picture of a neighbor girl. They didn't want you to break out and come kidnap me.
Mrs. Hill: Thank God, I was starting to think I killed the wrong man.
Cleo Miller: Can you imagine, Conan's head on Keanu's body? Unstoppable.
Lucy Whitman: You just became a statistic.
Kansas: Oh, my god. I'm not the first.
Hannah: And Tim Conoway was very funny. And they all learned a lot from the experience a.
Kansas: Wait a minute. You watched The Apple fucking Dumpling gang?
Kansas: Yeah? Well, how would you like me to introduce my foot into your ass.
Cleo Miller: The baby's got two heads.
Lucy Whitman: It's twins.
Diane: I'm not just super fat.
Diane: Nobody ever got ahead by sitting on their behinds.
Kansas: It's in the Bible, so just shut the hell up.
Hank 'Terminator' Rogers: How many bullets do you need?
Diane: Bullets? No bullets! Oh my gosh, these are just to scare people. Kinda like a round-off, back handspring, whip back, double full. You never really use it - you just want the opposing squad to know you've got it.
Cleo Miller: Did you say you are pregnant or you were pregnant. You had it, threw it out, and now you're gonna go dance all night?
Kansas: My best friend got pregnant.
Mrs. Hill: Woohoo, before you?
Kansas: Yeah that's what I said too.
Jack Bartlett: Who would you be, Count Chocula or Trix Rabbit?
Diane: Uhhh Trix.
Jack Bartlett: Me too. God I love this lady.
Lisa Janusch: ...he was a bar of chocolate and the whole school was on the rag - everybody wanted a piece.
Kansas: She's been the weak tit on this mama cat ever since this whole thing started.
