Feng: What part of "sudden death" didn't you understand?
Vince: Hey coach. Name is Vince. I'm just a bartender from Philly whose only dream is to play ball. It's all I got left after I lost my job teaching, and my wife left me. Like my alcoholic father used to say before he passed on, "A man can only take so much failure!" I'll give you everything I got. What do you say coach?
Lambeau "Coach" Fields: I say you can add "Did not make the football team" to your list of woes.
Erik Kernan Jr.: The Jermaine story I covered. It was a good fight.
Ralph Metz: Yeah, I buried it.
Erik Kernan Jr.: But why?
Ralph Metz: Something's gotta be buried.
Erik Kernan Jr.: That's what high school wrestling's for, right?
Joe Kingman: Bostun Webels, experience the heat. Buston Webels, catch the magik. Buston Webels, catch... who wites this?
Dennis: I can lose weight, but you'll always be an asshole!
John Farley: You have a father?
Mr. Woodcock: Of course I have a father, Farley, I'm not Jesus.