Narrator: Life is like the foam of the sea. You must dive into it.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Organ Donor Stu: What is wrong with my neck?
Doctor: You broke it, you're an organ donor.
Stan: There's been a PI at the shark pool.
Jordan: PI?
Stan: Puking incident. Some kid puked all over the shark pool. Anyway, I need you to clean it up for me right away. A.S.A.P.
Iris Murdoch: People have obsessions and fears and passions which they don't admit to. I think every character is interesting and has extremes. It's the novelist privilege to see how odd everyone is.
Helen: Some people smoke pot, some people bungee jump, some people chant. What do you do to be happy?
Jessica: Nothing. I'm not.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow, I'm dirty down there. We'll be together tomorrow when I'm clean, you want me clean right?
Renech: If you try to leave.
Charlotte Gray: I won't.
Renech: I'm not afraid to kill you.
Charlotte Gray: Tomorrow.
Renech: You will come, I know many people. You understand? Many people.
Charlotte Gray: I understand... I understand.
Eddie: How can you be in love with someone and not even like them at the same time?
Meg Harper: You're having a panic attack, do you know what that means?
Joe: It sounds pretty self-explanatory.
Corelli: Do you miss me?
Pelagia: So much that I can't sleep at night.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Phil Allen: A beauty is that, Shelley. A beauty.
Best Man: May you have enough happiness to keep you sweet, enough trials to keep you strong, enough hope to keep you happy, enough friends to give you comfort, enough determination to make each day a better day then yesterday. Congratulations guys I love you both. WOO.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Steve Meyers: What do you think of a moral victory?
Anna Redmond: A moral victory sounds good.
Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.